Patsy French

Absolute Bliss

There comes a time in the life of the happy bachelor when he's willing to relinquish the wheel to a girl.

When Monty took off for a country inn with PATSY FRENCH, he realised he could only enjoy the view of the road. What he had in mind originally was a lunch of bread and cheese and pickles with Patsy, but halfway there he decided bread and cheese and pickles may be the staff of life but they don't represent absolute bliss.

Bliss absolute can be the Beatles or Tom Jones or Elvis Presley, or even a Chopin melody on a grand piano. To Monty it was a view of Patsy in the driving seat. So he stopped the car and gave her the wheel.

What a vision. What a driver.

It mattered not that she drove up hills in top gear, took corners on one wheel and parked the car so that he couldn't get out on his side. Patsy in the driving seat was absolute bliss and so were the pickles.

Vanda Vane-Dotson

Whose Side Are You On?

If you must know (said tall, willowy VANDA VANE-DOTSON who prefers riding a country horse to taking a town taxi) I’m on the wrong side and trying hard to ge* to the right side before it’s too late.

In some circumstances (said Vanda, who is our idea of a rural-loving debutante) either side can be the right side. It just so happens that the circumstances on this occasion were all bound up with the fact that there was a rather hefty-looking quadruped on my side and he had all the characteristics of a belligerent bull.

Therefore (said Vanda, who drives a whizz of a sports car with verve and application) I knew there was only one side of the fence I wanted to be and that was the other side. I didn’t actually fall flat on my face but I can’t say these tight mini-dresses give a girl maximum composure when she’s in the kind of hurry I was.

Helen Jones

Music Lover

One of the leading lights of London at the moment is HELEN JONES. She's a genuine swinger. Wherever there's something going on that's at all worthwhile, you can bet your psychedelic pink shirt that Helen will be conspicuously ravishing.

She's a model with a big London agency and appeared in the film 'Love Variations'. That was a genuine swinger too.

Helen is twenty-one, lives in North London and is a music lover. She adores both classical and underground music.

Underground? You mean on a tube train?

"Great tombstones," said Helen "how long have you been dead?"

That, of course, proves that if you don't speak the language of the swingers you might as well spend your time in museums.

Ah well, you can always sort out a nice, sympathetic mummy to talk to.

Jane Paul

Highland Games

Up in places like Braemer they have all those Highland Games each year, and lovely Scottish girls like JANE PAUL are seen around. They make a svelte contrast with all the muscle men. The latter may be able to toss a mighty caber, but Jane can throw a husky six-footer with a mere twinkle of her kneecaps.

"Lassie, would ye no, mind standing farther back?" panted one brawny caber competitor.

"Must I?" said Jane.

"Aye, ye must, lassie, or I'll lose my dynamics and do masel' an injury."

"Oh, dear, everyone's so tense," said Jane, and went away.

Well, you can't mess about with cabers. You've got to be tense.

Anne Duke

Going Off Bingo

Percy Blake and his wife Dolores were fanatical about bingo, they never missed a session at the village hall. And, bingo, they regularly came up for a couple of quid here and a couple of quid there.

Then a lovely and absolutely delightful girl came to live nearby, the sort any man just can't ignore. Percy went all agog the first time he saw her, and from then on, he was hardly ever out of a kind of trance-like goggle-ment.

You couldn’t blame him. The girl was ANNE DUKE, a Welsh beauty queen, with vitalistics of 36'-23'-36", and Dolores had never looked anything like that.

So, Percy went off bingo. He sat on his front doorstep waiting for Anne to walk by. Dolores didn’t go off bingo. She still went. And she continued to coin the bingo lolly and Percy continued to goggle. It was always a real pleasure to see Anne walk by. He didn’t ever try to date her. Well, what good is it when she’s twenty and he‘s eighty-four?

Sylvia Ternes

The Park Looks Nice Today

It didn’t look quite so nice yesterday, but it looks very nice today. Parks are for walking in and for exercising your dog in and for nannies to rescue mites from ponds in.

They’re also for courting and playing ball. They look more colourful in the summer than they do in the winter, of course, and the real reason why this particular park looked so attractive at the back end of a quite a hard winter was because SYLVIA TERNES happened to be around.

It wouldn’t have looked half as nice if it had been a dog sitting there instead of Sylvia, and though dog-lovers may not be in complete agreement with us here, it’s a toss-up as to whether we’re prejudiced or they are.

We are. We confess it. We can’t help it. She's so photogenic.

Amanda Jansen

Roadside Review

It was a lovely day, and even lovelier when Chumley pulled up beside the ravishing blonde.

"Ah, having a review of the works, what?” he said.

"I've already done that.” said AMANDA JANSEN, "and now I'm looking for the whatsisname to prop the car up."

"Got a flat, eh?" said Chumley.

"I beg your pardon?" said Amanda, who was proud of her 36-23-36 framework.

"Flat tyre." said Chumley.

"I hope you’re not going to get all mechanical.” said Amanda, ”I just thought I’d prop the whole thing up and then see what happens."

"Good idea,” said Chumley.

"Well, aren't you going to help me? Are you going to just sit there and look?” said Amanda.

"Sitting here and just looking,” said Chumley. "is my idea of a really lovely day.”

"You saucy devil," said Amanda and conked him with the whatsisname.

Amanda is a London model and you can see her swinging around the place and bringing stars to the eyes of high-powered diplomats carrying brief cases.

Ruth Cavendish

Best Foot Forward

Our Scottish photographer tells us that RUTH CAVENDISH is not only beautiful but highly intelligent and extremely cultured. It’s with confidence, then, that we exhort this lovely lady to put her best foot forward when alighting from her car, for she will do so far too intelligently to trip up and far too attractively not to make a perfect picture.

For those who like statistics as much as they like culture, Ruth is eighteen, and fits very nicely into a shapely silhouette of 38"-24"-38". Did you ever see any girl alight so prettily?

Ruth’s ambition is to become a fashion model, and certainly no fashion model we ever saw comes to the job more photo-genically than Ruth could. Of all the bonny Scots we have featured, Ruth is among the bonniest.

Whenever the laurels are awarded for shapely legs Ruth is among the enchanting recipients, and these shots leave us in no doubt she deserves every leaf.

Janet Scowen

Model Secretary

She’s bright, she’s attractive, she loves dancing and swimming, and has an eye-catching figure that measures 38"-24"-38". This was her first time before the camera and we hope she’ll find it fun to pose again.

Pretty JANET SCOWEN is a 19-year-old English secretary, working in West Germany, where these shots were taken during her time off.

Joan Russell

Ha Ha

To some girls the problem of getting out of a car is a matter for serious application If they don't wish to stop the traffic.

To JOAN RUSSELL it’s funny ha-ha because she says she gets tickled by the safety-belt on her way out.

Well, she's laughing about something.