Sandra Morrell

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The Psychiatrist

Harry thought anybody who couldn't sort out his own problems but had to take them to a psychiatrist needed to have his head examined. His friend Oliver said that was the same thing, to which Harry replied it was all a lot of half-baked propaganda put about by blokes who had to make a living at it.

And then he met SANDRA MORRELL at a garden party, where there were lots of homemade cakes on view and a lot of home-made wine-tasting going on. Harry had tested them all by the time he bumped into Sandra, who was there in her official capacity as the garden party beauty queen or something equally exotic and ravishing.

Harry almost fell down. What a doll, he thought. He took her hand and pressed unsolicited kisses on it. Then he looked into her eyes and murmured, "Come and try my cherry tart, I made it myself." "Pardon me," said Sandra," but I never eat cherry tart with men who've had too much elderberry wine."

Harry was distraught. He went to see a psychiatrist next day to try and find out why elderberry wine made him so unattractive to women.

And after six visits, all at ten guineas a time, the psychiatrist told him it was because too much elderberry wine made him lurch sideways.

Avril Manders

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That’s Life

What do you say when you go out to buy a new hotplate for your kitchen and come back with a new set of glamorous lingerie instead?

That's life. What else can you say? It was what AVRIL MANDERS said, and personally we think Avril in a new set of glamour pants and all that looks a lot more peachy than a hotplate, new or otherwise.

When you live in an apartment and do your own cooking, you need a hotplate or a gas ring or something to cook the eggs on, but it's not a must. You can always go out and eat. Especially if you've got lots of generous boyfriends, only too delighted to stand you some hot fish and chips.

Avril likes a regular meal. It keeps her in shape, like.

Sonya Moultz

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OUR AU PAIR WAS NEVER LIKE THIS

Most people who have had the invaluable help of an au pair girl from abroad will tell you they've never had one quite like SONYA MOULTZ.

Sonya is Austrian. She's nineteen and she came from Innsbruck to be an invaluable help to the Chucklebodys of Uxbridge. Mr Chucklebody was entranced, for Sonya brought her own maid's uniform with her, which was like a delicious something out of a French farce. Someone had told her it was the standard outfit for all au pair girls.

Mrs Chucklebody wasn't as entranced as Mr Chucklebody, who began to take days off from his business in order not to miss too much of Sonya sweeping the carpet and looking full of Continental oo-la-la. Efficient as well as delicious, she's brought order to the household chores for Mrs Chucklebody and very photogenic stocking-tops back into the life of Mr Chucklebody, who thought they'd gone for ever.

Joanne Martin

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Looking a Treat

There might be a tendency these days for many women to favour trouser suits around the house, and if there is then there's a definite tendency among many men to think rude things about trouser suit designers.

Trousers for women shouldn't go beyond peekaboo pants worn by those Eastern beauties who adorn sultans' palaces.

Thank goodness housewife JOANNE MARTIN still believes women look their most feminine in exquisite lingerie. Joanne herself looks a treat in black underwear. How lovely to come home to hot soup, treacle pudding and Joanne.

"Not, I hope, in that order," said Joanne.

No, of course not.

Mary Graham

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Daddy Long- legs

You must have heard of “Daddy Long- legs” turned into a very successful play and musical, but if you haven't heard of the feminine equivalent in the shape of MARY GRAHAM, then this is where we bring you up-to-date.

Mary not only has long legs; she also has lovely legs. Plus, a flashing smile and a cute walk which makes bus conductors—and others—whistle.

Mary, naturally, is proud of her long legs — what girl wouldn’t be? but will not commit herself about bus conductors. All she will say is that any bus conductor who likes her leggy walk enough to whistle is the kind of man who should certainly be a conductor in preference to a driver.

Drivers, says Mary—and others—are there to keep their eyes on the road, while conductors are only there to keep their eyes on their passengers. If they whistle after me when their bus passes (says Mary) who am I to decry their taste and discrimination?

Carol Hans

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Carolling Along

Going around the Continental countries and touring all over Britain, blonde CAROL HANS just makes for any cameraman's dream, carolling along in leggy style.

Well, she can sing a bit, you know. She sings as she walks. She's been all over everywhere, singing all the way.

She's so easy on the ear and she's magical on the eye. It comes from being a lovely baby and growing up into a lovely girl. There are people who can't find anything right with the world.

They're nutheads.

Christine Porter

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Late Date

Ravishing dolly CHRISTINE PORTER thought it was never going to happen, the date with her boyfriend. He hadn't rung or sent a note or anything. Then a boy on a bike arrived and said Handsome asked could she make the Knights' Castle at ten o'clock. The Knights' Castle is ah Arthurian disco.

"Ten o'clock? That's late," said Christine.

"Yes, well, he went down a pothole," said the boy, "and took a long time coming up."

"I'll kill him," said Christine, and spent an hour at her dressing table making herself look absolutely beautiful. That's enough to slay any feller, especially one on a late date.

Dawn Grayson

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How To Be Crazy Without Really Trying

Quite simple. Get yourself introduced to DAWN GRAYSON at a cocktail party for models with a flair for slaying the beholder. One look at our beautiful Dawn and you’ll be as crazy about her as we are. What real man can look into those soft eyes and dwell on that haunting shade of lipstick without wanting to be shot out of a cannon or something? Crazy it might be but undeniably exhilarating.

Penny Leigh

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Penny For Your Thoughts

If you often have wistful dreams about someone tender, affectionate and absolutely ravishing who would make you blissfully happy without having to go off to a desert island, you're probably on an all-male expedition to the icy wastes of Greenland.

One girl you'll almost certainly dream about as soon as you see these pics of her is PENNY LEIGH.

She's ever so ravishing.

She likes riding, swimming and motorbikes. She can ride a motorbike like fun. Want to go pillion with her?

If so, hang on blissfully or you'll fall off.

Patricia McGregor

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Just Right For A Walk In The Park

The day was fine, PATRICIA McGREGOR was looking beautiful, and everything seemed set fair for a walk in the park.

But first, of course, Pat had to make sure that her seams were straight and her nails were polished.

Not to mention her shoes. A fashion model like Pat just couldn’t be seen in public without a shoeshine.

A final check on those seams—a last suspender adjustment, and we’re all set.

Apart from—no, not just the hat, Pat. What about the skirt? Well, you might get away with it if you keep your coat buttoned up, but suppose you get asked into tea somewhere?

“Hallo! Hallo-Sally? Sally, did I leave my skirt at your place yesterday? I did? Well, good heavens, what did I come home in, then? I did? Gosh, no wonder I thought it was draughty on my bike!”

Susan Anstey

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Outlook Lovely

Yes, it's very lovely for the art students around Bristol. Their new teacher is SUSAN ANSTEY, who is considered an incomparable work of art herself.

Long-legged, vivacious and with flowing chestnut hair, Susan took the opportunity during vacation time to show that modern lady teachers aren't just intellectual faces. She did some delicious pin-up modelling and was quite overcome at the pocket money she earned.

"My word," she said, "teachers don't get paid half as much."

"Well, give it up, wonder woman," said the photographer, "and be a glamour girl."

"I'd like to," said Susan, "but I'm dedicated and my pupils would miss me awfully."

"If I were in your class," he said, "so would I."

Sally Dixon

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Kitchen Chores

It's all right for some. Some have au pair girls to use a broom for them.

But SALLY DIXON, university student, has to do ail her own chores in her London fiat and one place she likes to keep spotless is her kitchen, she being a girl who spends a lot of time in it. She's a marvel at making up exotic dishes out of homely ingredients bought at the nearby Street market.

She's also a marvel at modelling in her spare leisure hours, so that she can occasionally buy her-self a luscious steak and cook it Chinese style. You eat it with Chinese crackers.

Sylvia Martin

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Flutterer

No, come on. Tearaway (said the panting jockey), get weaving or you’ll have me in dead trouble with Lady Sylvia. I tipped her you’d win by five lengths and here you are not even trying—swelp me if I don’t nobble you myself next time out. You couldn’t blame the gee-gee, really. The jockey just lost all sense of proportion when he gazed into the green eyes of SYLVIA MARTIN, 20-year-old bachelor-girl-about-town, who loves a flutter on the horses and believes anything a jockey tells her about the nags. Sylvia has lost the equivalent of a shirt more times than she cares to remember.

In case any of you think the height of bliss is only experienced by those riding a rocking-horse on the top of the Eiffel Tower, then there are those among you who haven’t seen Sylvia waving her horse home at Epsom. She dances, jigs, cavorts, yells, shrieks, and generally lets her enthusiasm take such hold of her that she becomes the most entrancing spectacle of the day.

Sorry we couldn’t show you her cheering her last flutter home, but we did catch her looking extremely entrancing in the domestic setting of a London flat.

Sylvia’s ambition, as distinct from her hobby, is the theatre—she wants desperately to break into the real, live genuine circuit—but she won’t put her shirt on it, she couldn’t bear to lose on that one.

Jo Fowler

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It Had To Happen

It always does. Happily humming to herself, JO FOWLER set about finding a place for a picture in her husband's new residence in France, where he now works. You can see what happened. It always does.

Mrs Burley

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Kitchen Capers

(or - Don’t Shoot The Cook, She’s Too Beautiful)

When Mr. Burley, a keen amateur photographer, who hails from Brixton, London, sent us some photographs of his lovely wife, we were so impressed by the discrimination he showed in picking a girl like this to wed, that we sent our own photographer along to provide additional evidence.

We didn’t arrive at the best time. Well, it wasn’t the best time for blonde and beautiful Mrs. Burley, who was choring in the kitchen—no girl likes to be caught in her apron— but it didn’t take us long to realise that there’s no time like the present, and could the lady have looked any lovelier without her apron, anyway? A moot point, that, and one on which we will not linger.

Mrs. Burley, do you always dress in this cute outfit when you’re working in the kitchen—or is it that we just caught you on the wrong day?

Well, no-well, yes—well, I like to look glamorous in my kitchen, particularly on Wednesdays, which are half days, of course.

But today is Thursday—

Is it? Oh, well excuse me a moment while I lift Mrs. Beeton off the biscuit tin.

No, but really, Mrs. Burley — hold that a moment — you really are the cutest kitchen maid we’ve seen in years.

Well, thanks. For that you can stay and have some coffee, if you like.

Would you like to sit on your kitchen table, Mrs. Burley? With pleasure—but may I ask what for?

Because it's always been a crazy idea of ours that there are so many things which photograph better on a kitchen table than cups, saucers and toast-racks, and now we see you there we know it wasn’t such a crazy idea at that.

Well, we finally went away with the feeling that we’d shot off a lot of very attractive photographs, and it wasn’t until we’d gone about five miles in the trolley-bus that we realised we'd left Mrs. Burley to do the washing-up by herself. Never mind. She did it all with such a sweet smile.