Nicole Shelby
/Knightsbridge Texan
Texans don't often leave Texas, you know, because who wants to? What can they offer anywhere else that they haven't got in Texas and more of?
You heard about Joe Pongo, of course. He was an exception. He set off on his horse one day to ride to the border and spend a couple of years in Mexico City where he intended to carve Indian figures out of wood. Six weeks later he found he was still in Texas. He rode on. And on. In the end he realised the place was just too big, and they hadn't invented planes, so he stayed put and devoted himself to making boots for the American Cavalry.
Then, a lot more recently, a different kind of Texan called NICOLE SHELBY decided there must be other places in the world. As Texas was so big, she thought it would be a change to go to somewhere little. So, she came to Britain.
She was tickled. It couldn't be helped; the whole place was crowded with people. She'd never been tickled in Texas, there's a square mile of elbow room for everyone.
Anyway, Nicole got a work permit, bought herself some scintillating mini-dresses and let London see what a glamorous Texan really looked like. London took a deep breath and surrendered. And Nicole took a flat in Knightsbridge.
Since then, you've seen Nicole in any amount of TV series, and if you've ever wondered where she got those long, lovely legs from, well now you know, she got them from Texas.