Susanne Kent

Taking a Long Short Cut

What with the boss having one of those weeks—he'd lost a contract and his wife was beating him—secretary SUSANNE KENT couldn't get away from the office fast enough on Friday. On Saturday, she plunged into the heart of the country north-west of Glasgow, hoping to find all that fresh air everyone says is so good for you if you've had a trying week with sir.

Susanne took a short cut by climbing a wall. It was a long short cut because she got chased by an Ayrshire prize-winner. It thought she looked like a lady bullfighter. Susanne ran for miles. Still, she looked ever so cheeky with her dress hitched and her legs flashing, and the bull just hadn't got the heart to catch her up and toss her over a country castle.

It just kept following her. And in the end, it turned out to be Tony and Tiny McNutty, circus twins. Tony was the front legs, Tiny the back. They'd enjoyed the chase tremendously. Susanne had her own back. She set a couple of frisky cows on them. Front legs and back legs vanished in a panic over the horizon, the intrigued cows in determined pursuit.