Pam Horton

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No Wonder Dad Fell In

We were living it up on one of the Norfolk Broads, although Mum said cooking beans all day was hardly her idea of life at its most ecstatic. Dad said try some bangers, then, at which mum hit him over the head with the bean ladle and said "Well, I tried one how did it feel?"

Dad didn't even know she'd hit him; he had his eyes glued to Pam Horton's Water Ski Spectacular.

“What incomparable skill," he breathed, his teeth grinding on his glass of local brew, "what verve, what execution, what a covey of utterly divine Aquamaids."

"You swine," said Mum, "you ought to be locked in the scuppers." Mum always talks like that when Dad starts reaching for his binoculars.

"Go and cook the beans," said Dad, jamming the binoculars against his glazed eyeballs. "Damn it," he added, "I can't see a thing, I'm all steamed up.' "Break your father's leg," said Mum, handing me an iron mallet.

Fortunately for my peace of mind - I'm a very sensitive child - that wasn't necessary. And no wonder.

No wonder what? No wonder Dad fell in and saved me from taking sides. As he got his binoculars focussed on the Aquamaids they came dancing over the water in a French Can-Can act and when Dad saw how absolutely delectable, they looked in close-up he crumpled at the knees and fell in. Mum leaned over the side and shouted, "How do you feel now, you old fool?"

"Blind me," murmured Dad, "it's a lovely way to go."

(Dad's impressionable mind apart, the Water Ski Spectacular is all it claims to be. On the left is PAM HORTON herself, the inspiration behind the aqua displays, and if Aquamaids are all like this you can't wonder Dad wants their autographs.)

Beautiful Britons No 135 - February 1967

Maria Assin

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It Wasn't For Want Of Trying

There was this rubber canoe, see.

It was a new acquisition for MARIA ASSIN. Maria works all week in an office and spends all weekends out-of-doors. That way a girl manages to keep pretty and vital.

Maria had the darnedest trouble launching the canoe and even more trying to get into it. It couldn't have been more difficult trying to get on the neck of an elephant with a rope ladder.

There's a classical method of launching and paddling a canoe, of course One, you swoosh it into the water. Two, you sling your left leg over the starboard side. Three, you sling your right leg in. Four - as Maria found out - you fall flat on your face over the port side. No one can say Maria didn't try. She did. Both classical and unclassical methods. The canoe remained obdurately determined, Maria likewise. It became a fight to the finish.

"Pardon me," called a wag from dry land, "but watch out for the torpedoes.
'Blow the torpedoes,' said Maria, "I'm in at last and now it's full steam ahead.
It's one thing to be an obdurately determined young lady, and quite another to be over-confident.
It wasn't the torpedoes.
It was the canoe.
It gave a wet cough and Maria went overboard. Not for the first time, either. "You're all wet, " called the wag from the bank.
"So are you," said Maria.

Beautiful Britons No 153 - August 1968

Spick and Span 2000

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Melissa and Lucy Take a Shower.

To see more of Melissa and Lucy in the shower together - Click Here

Sylvia Stuart

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Is That Me

No, is it really me? asks pretty SYLVIA STUART, office girl in an old town of Ayrshire. I mean what would mother say. Nothing I suppose, except does your grandmother know you've been to her chest. Smashing, aren't they? The beatniks aren't so crazy as I thought.

Well, I mean, they may not be a frightfully artistic adornment, but think of their worth up in the cold Highlands.

Pardon me - I was just getting ready to take a bath. But I'm not ready yet and my forthcoming immersion is the result of a mere slip. Of the feet. If it's too hot or too cold I shall yell my head off.

Oh, well, once you're in you're in, and once you're wet, you're all wet. Did I ever tell you about my grandfather all steamed up a Turkish bath? He didn't go off the boil for days.

Janus

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Janus - Mixed Selection of Models

Selection of models all taken from Janus Volume 1 No 10 - 1972.

 We can all spot Dawn Grayson in the bath referred to here as Janet, but can you spot and name any others.

Janus Volume 1 No 10 - Janus Publications 1972

Sandra Keyes

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Making a Splash

Enjoying all the invigorating delights of making a splash in the local river is SANDRA KEYES, blueeyed blonde. Sandra is a shorthand typist and a pop fan, with an eager beaver approach to all the healthy fun of life. Sandra's maxim is that you're only young once, her modest ambition is to marry and live in a country cottage. Lovely.

Beautiful Britons No 182 - January 1971

Dawn Grayson

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I Was Just Testing The Water

We couldn’t help asking DAWN GRAYSON if she’d got into her foamy bath before she was quite ready for it.

If you must know, said Dawn, I was just testing the water when I slipped and fell in. I was still wearing my undies at the time. It does happen, you know.

Actually, when we were in Persia we used to take a standing shower in full drill uniform, and after stepping out we just stood around and in no time everything dried out fine.

Sounds barmy, said Dawn, and awfully damp. Still, once you're in you’re in and you might as well stay there. You can wash your smalls while you’re still wearing them.

It’s a bit like cooking your breakfast with your hat and coat on, isn’t it?

With the rain coming through the kitchen ceiling. That, said Dawn, sounds even barmier.

Hazel Shaw

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Bubbly

For a blonde as bubbly as HAZEL SHAW what’s more appropriate than a bubble bath? Only don’t miss your footing and fall in like this - it’s easier on the joints to lower yourself gently and gracefully, and you don’t make any splash.
Frankly (says Hazel) that hurt, so pardon my yell of surprise. A bubble bath is just right to tone a girl up and certainly if it makes you look as sweet as Hazel, then stand not upon the order of the bath but dive in tonight as soon as you get home. But take your hat off first.

Rosanne Stuart

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Did She Slip ?

Or was she pushed?

Well, according to our currently top-pop pinup. ROSANNE STUART, she just fell in. It didn’t matter all that much because she was going to have a bath, anyway, and she had to get wet sooner or later.

She was just sitting on the edge of the bath and looking rather fetching in that position when before you could say "I wouldn’t sit so near the water if I were you, suppose you fell in with all your clothes on?” She fell in.

There was no panic, however.

It's always the way, it’s lovely once you’re in. You look lovely too.

We’ll pop out into the garden and put the line-up.

Lili Reuter

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Then The Tide Came In

Everything was lovely and sunny and calm. LILI REUTER was lovely and sunny and calm herself.

Then the tide came in. Fast and sneaky.

Splash.

Talk about wet. Dress, stockings and legs. Lili muttered French words she never realised she knew, especially as she's a Bavarian. Still, it was a French tide somewhere near St. Malo and it made her so wet that Lili sat resignedly down in it. She turned into a lovely young soak, like. Wet all over she was in the end. French blokes ventured near, asking her if she needed a towel, and Lili threw wet sand at them.

Larky it was.

Maria Assin

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It Wasn’t For Want of Trying

There was this rubber canoe, see.

It was a new acquisition for MARIA ASSIN. Maria works all week in an office and spends all week-ends out-of-doors. That way a girl manages to keep pretty and vital.

Maria had the darnedest trouble launching the canoe and even more trying to get into it. It couldn't have been more difficult trying to get on the neck of an elephant with a rope ladder.

There's a classical method of launching and paddling a canoe, of course One, you swoosh it into the water. Two, you sling your left leg over the starboard side. Three, you sling your right leg in. Four—as Maria found out—you fall flat on your face over the port side.

No one can say Maria didn't try. She did. Both classical and un-classical methods. The canoe remained obdurately determined, Maria likewise. It became a fight to the finish.

“Pardon me,” called a wag from dry land, “but watch out for the torpedoes.”

“Blow the torpedoes,” said Maria, “I’m in at last and now it’s full steam ahead.”

It’s one thing to be an obdurately determined young lady, and quite another to be over-confident.

It wasn't the torpedoes.

It was the canoe.

It gave a wet cough and Maria went overboard. Not for the first time, either. “You’re all wet," called the wag from the bank.

“So are you," said Maria.


Amanda Case

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Amanda The Unready

Having fought her way home from the office, AMANDA CASE thought she'd take a bath instead of a shower, then sit down refreshed to chicken and asparagus pie.

She ran the bath and was quite unready for what happened next.

She fell in.

She wasn't at all undressed for it.

Just a few buttons undone. Then what?

“I was wet all over," said Amanda, and so was everything else.”

Zee Dorcas

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What a Shower!

There's so much sea around at Brighton that typist ZEE DORCAS can plunge about in the waves almost any time she likes.

Usually she wears a bikini. It was an accident when she plunged in wearing a dress and etcetera’s. She fell over the side of her rowing-boat. The salt water left her all sticky, so she dashed home and went straight under the shower.

What a shower. The best she'd ever had freshened her up in no time and took all the salt out of her undies.

“Well” she said demurely, "it was either the shower or the washing machine, and I didn't fancy being chucked all over the place by the spin dryer."