Maria Assin

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It Wasn't For Want Of Trying

There was this rubber canoe, see.

It was a new acquisition for MARIA ASSIN. Maria works all week in an office and spends all weekends out-of-doors. That way a girl manages to keep pretty and vital.

Maria had the darnedest trouble launching the canoe and even more trying to get into it. It couldn't have been more difficult trying to get on the neck of an elephant with a rope ladder.

There's a classical method of launching and paddling a canoe, of course One, you swoosh it into the water. Two, you sling your left leg over the starboard side. Three, you sling your right leg in. Four - as Maria found out - you fall flat on your face over the port side. No one can say Maria didn't try. She did. Both classical and unclassical methods. The canoe remained obdurately determined, Maria likewise. It became a fight to the finish.

"Pardon me," called a wag from dry land, "but watch out for the torpedoes.
'Blow the torpedoes,' said Maria, "I'm in at last and now it's full steam ahead.
It's one thing to be an obdurately determined young lady, and quite another to be over-confident.
It wasn't the torpedoes.
It was the canoe.
It gave a wet cough and Maria went overboard. Not for the first time, either. "You're all wet, " called the wag from the bank.
"So are you," said Maria.

Beautiful Britons No 153 - August 1968

Maria Assin

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Bunny Girl

You don't have to dress up in one of those bunny outfits with a pom-pom tail to be a bunny girl, you only need to be fond of rabbits.

You keep them in a nice dry hutch and feed them lettuce. MARIA ASSIN was out the other day looking for some cute baby bunnies to take home, and as we were out looking for conkers, we bumped heads with her round a tree.

"What I don't understand," said Maria as she posed for us, "is why you a need a camera when you're looking for conkers."

"Well, we snap them first to see if they're photogenic."

"I've never heard of photogenic conkers," said Maria.

"They're the ones that come out well in close-up."

"I hope you know what you're talking about,' said Maria.

Cute girl, Maria. She's a charge clerk, nineteen years old, with statistics of 36"-24"-36".

Beautiful Britons No 166 - September 1969

Maria Assin

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Come On out

There's not much you can do on a lovely summer day except go to the races, take a punt and a picnic up the river, fly off to Italy, chase nursemaids through the park, pick flowers for a lovely lady or just settle for a siesta in the sun.

Or give a helping hand to MARIA ASSIN as she alights from her car and then offer to show her what you're currently growing in your greenhouse.

Spick No 168 - November 1968

Maria Assin

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Where's The Jack?

MARIA ASSIN had no idea where to find the car jack, and she wasn't even sure what a car jack was like.

Still, she did find a thingumabob that fitted over the nuts.

There was that other Jack. Jack Puddinglass. But he went off with his fishing rod as soon as they arrived.

You can't be more useless than that.

Still. Maria looked ever so nice in her bikini-style ensemble of delicate white and you can't say fairer than that.

Span No 167 - July 1968

Maria Assin

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Hardly Dressed For The Part

It was like this. Lovely MARIA ASSIN was about to put her riding gear on when she heard her horse whinny. So she dashed out of her shooting-box, the place she uses for changing, just in time to stop her mount from galloping off to join another horse five miles away. Although it left Maria hardly dressed for the part, it did at least save her from losing her horse. And if you want to see how Maria coped when she found she’d lost her jodhpurs instead, make sure you get next month’s issue, when Maria and horse will appear again.

Maria Assin

/

It Wasn’t For Want of Trying

There was this rubber canoe, see.

It was a new acquisition for MARIA ASSIN. Maria works all week in an office and spends all week-ends out-of-doors. That way a girl manages to keep pretty and vital.

Maria had the darnedest trouble launching the canoe and even more trying to get into it. It couldn't have been more difficult trying to get on the neck of an elephant with a rope ladder.

There's a classical method of launching and paddling a canoe, of course One, you swoosh it into the water. Two, you sling your left leg over the starboard side. Three, you sling your right leg in. Four—as Maria found out—you fall flat on your face over the port side.

No one can say Maria didn't try. She did. Both classical and un-classical methods. The canoe remained obdurately determined, Maria likewise. It became a fight to the finish.

“Pardon me,” called a wag from dry land, “but watch out for the torpedoes.”

“Blow the torpedoes,” said Maria, “I’m in at last and now it’s full steam ahead.”

It’s one thing to be an obdurately determined young lady, and quite another to be over-confident.

It wasn't the torpedoes.

It was the canoe.

It gave a wet cough and Maria went overboard. Not for the first time, either. “You’re all wet," called the wag from the bank.

“So are you," said Maria.


Maria Assin

/

Bunny Girl

You don’t have to dress up in one of those bunny outfits with a pom-pom tail to be a bunny girl, you only need to be fond of rabbits.

You keep them in a nice dry hutch and feed them lettuce. MARIA ASSIN was out the other day looking for some cute baby bunnies to take home, and as we were out looking for conkers we bumped heads with her round a tree.

“What I don’t understand,’’ said Maria as she posed for us, “is why you need a camera when you’re looking for conkers.”

“Well, we snap them first to see if they’re photogenic.”

“I’ve never heard of photogenic conkers,” said Maria.

“They’re the ones that come out well in close-up.”

“I hope you know what you’re talking about,” said Maria.

Cute girl, Maria. She’s a charge clerk, nineteen years old, with statistics of 36 "-24 "-36".