Rosanne Stuart

In A Scottish Garden

Frustrated geography, what you miss being on the wrong side of the border.

All that lovely Scottish heather and all those bonny birds are not the daily delight of those whose eyes are bounded by Portobello Road. As you dally on the kerbside looking for a bargain in old Victoriana, how you must wish you were in a Scottish garden with ROSANNE STUART.

If you don’t wish that, then old Victoriana has got a neurotic hold on you and you'll only cure yourself by butting sandbags. Wait until it leaves off and then give yourself another twenty-four hours to clear your head of ringing noises.

You’re cured. You begin to think of a Scottish garden adorned by sweet Rosanne.

Soon you can think of nothing else. You’re all neurotic again.

You return to that heap of sandbags.

Life for people with complexes is all butt.

Rosanne Stuart

Soccer Fan

Soccer fans are in several different categories these days.

There are the berserk.

There are the faithful.

There are the lovely.

One of the lovely ones is ROZ STUART. And her favourite footballers are fans of hers just as much as she's a fan of theirs. The trouble is, as the centre-forward said, how does a feller keep his mind on football when Roz is sitting in a favoured position on the trainer's bench and wearing a sweater as well?

It's a nice problem.

Rosanne Stuart

We’re Quite Sure

In fact, we’re absolutely positive that ROSANNE STUART is just the girl we’d most like to get lost in the woods with. Well, she used to be a really keen girl guide and knows all the best ways of tracking through the bracken.

No, it’s all right, we don’t want to get out.

We like being lost.