Linda White

Who Could Ask For More?

Well, Oliver Twist for one.

And then there’s that incurably fat feller down at the gasworks who never says anything but “I’ll have the same again,” no matter what the question is. How’s your wife, how’re the kids, how’s your father, how’s your stomach, what’s your beer intake like these days? You get the same reply to all of them.

But surely if you’re looking for a girl who represents all that is brightest, swingiest and cutest about girls today, you couldn’t ask for a representative more delightful than LINDA WHITE. Glasgow hair stylist and beauty consultant, Linda keeps the young men fracturing their eyelids and the older men on the top storeys of their observatories, where they maintain a constant vigil at the small end of their telescopes, these being trained on Sauchiehall Street in the hope of catching Linda mounting a bus or hopping into a taxi.

You can’t ask for more when you’re over thirty and all you’ve got is a tall observatory and a long telescope.