Linda White

Who Could Ask For More?

Well, Oliver Twist for one.

And then there’s that incurably fat feller down at the gasworks who never says anything but “I’ll have the same again,” no matter what the question is. How’s your wife, how’re the kids, how’s your father, how’s your stomach, what’s your beer intake like these days? You get the same reply to all of them.

But surely if you’re looking for a girl who represents all that is brightest, swingiest and cutest about girls today, you couldn’t ask for a representative more delightful than LINDA WHITE. Glasgow hair stylist and beauty consultant, Linda keeps the young men fracturing their eyelids and the older men on the top storeys of their observatories, where they maintain a constant vigil at the small end of their telescopes, these being trained on Sauchiehall Street in the hope of catching Linda mounting a bus or hopping into a taxi.

You can’t ask for more when you’re over thirty and all you’ve got is a tall observatory and a long telescope.

Linda White

Winsome Scott

Across the border there are any number of sweet Scots. One very sweet and winsome lass is LINDA WHITE, a secretary in Glasgow.

Every time Norrie Perkins goes over the border to look for a girl much on the same lovely lines as Linda, lots of men in kilts take hold of him and throw him back again.

Last time he landed in the middle of the traffic in Carlisle. “Get up,” said the policeman, “or I’ll book you for obstruction.” “I’m not here voluntarily,” said Norrie, “it was compulsive.”

So the policeman booked him for being saucy as well. But Norrie keeps on trying. He’s hoping to meet Linda. So are we all.