Sue Simpson
/The Problems of Reincarnation
Ever since we set eyes on these pictures of lovely Sue Simpson, we've been worried by a terrible problem. It's kept us awake at night, sleepless and tossing and turning, gnawing our knuckles, sitting up in bed reading back issues of RELAX in desperate attempts at sending ourselves to sleep. But it's no good. However long and hard we try; we never arrive at a decision.
At the bus queue in the morning, we mumble quietly to ourselves. People edge shiftily away from us. Well, at least that gets us a seat, even in the rush hour. But the problem remains.
You see, it's like this. The other day we read a book, about reincarnation. Apparently, we don't just have one life on earth, when we die, we're born again as someone else. And it happens over and over again. But there's a snag. (There always is, isn't there?) You see, when you're born again, you may not be born again as a person (so this book says). You might be a frog, a flea, or a woolly necked tapir. Or even a flower. Somehow we don't fancy the idea of being born again as a pansy.
But now perhaps you see the problem. Bearing in mind we might be born again, we've been wondering, wondering, wondering what we'd rather be. Would it be best to be that tree that Sue Simpson is embracing so warmly? Or maybe the grass, where she rests her delightful derriere? Or even-dare we suggest it-those black net stockings that hug her so tightly?
Relax No 17 - Gadoline Publications 1969