Joan Paul

It’s Lovely Here

It was a lovely day and JOAN PAUL found herself a lovely spot. Deep in the heart of Surrey, where the foxes still run. Far from the rushing, hissing, clanking noises of London.

“London is swingy,” said Joan, “but it’s lovely here. I could stay here all day, but foxhounds keep running over my feet and snapping at my feet. I didn’t realise everything was still so primitive. Gadzooks, here’s another bunch and they’re all drooly. James, fetch the car.”

Joan Paul

Wanted a Dream Boat

Having got over her passion for collecting vintage cars — they all came apart in her hands — JOAN PAUL decided she'd go in for a dreamboat with an outboard.

You don't have to muck about with sails then or get biffed by the boom or something.

So, she advertised for one and a Greek god turned up. Joan took one look at him, went all dizzy and said "Do you have an outboard?"

"I don't need an outboard to get me going” said the Greek god, "I only need encouragement."