Maria Lynley

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Don't Ring Off

The phone rang and MARIA LYNLEY answered it.

"Hello," she said, "who's that?"

"It's me," said Harry.

"Who's you?" said Maria.

"Harry," said Harry.

"Is it about the telly?" said Maria.

“I haven't got one," said Harry, "I keep chickens. Can you come out tonight?"

“I'll ask my husband," said Maria, a lovely young Leicester housewife.

"Oh sock me," said Harry, "isn't that Ethel?"

"No, it isn't," said Maria, "it's me."

"Who's you?" said Harry.

"Maria," said Maria, "goodbye, Harry."

"No, don't ring off," said Harry, "you don't half sound cracking."

"Saucebox," giggled Maria and put the phone down.

Beautiful Britons No - 182 January 1971

Maria Lynley

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Happy Housewives

For all the X-minus fellers who don't have a housewife of their own, our sympathy is unqualified.

They're missing all that is loveliest in life.

We know the most attractive Leicester housewife. She's not only glamorous, she can't half cook too. Her name is MARIA LYNLEY and the man in her life is so appreciative of his good luck he sends her picture postcards when they're on holiday together.

Some men prefer to have model train sets. Mr. Lynley prefers to have Maria. What an acquisition.