'I was tucking in me bib and just a-going to unplug me cheese sandwiches.' said Gaffer Haywick, "when something came out of nowhere. knowed it was out of nowhere, like, because I never seen it coming and if it had a been coming my old Sal would have hollered. My old Sal ain't a missed nothing providing she seen it first, like.'
"Ah," said the bobby, taking notes.
"First thing knowed there she was,' said Gaffer, pushing some upset cheese back into place, "and a-sitting on me fence. How she got there I dunno. Flew out of this yere engineering contraption, I reckon. I asked her if she was a Martian and if she was she better not let my old Sal see her, old Sal don't like foreigners. We had one here once, from Little Crumpton, he wasn't nothing my old Sal couldn't have eaten for supper."
"Ah,' said Constable Philpot, "where's this thing she landed in?''
"There,"' said Gaffer, full of cheese.
"That's no thing,' said the bobby, "that's a Jaguar E-Type."
"I dunno what you call it,' said Gaffer, "we ain't ever seen nothing round here except a horse and cart and been here seventy years man and boy."
Poor old Gaffer. Imagine him thinking BRIDE GOODWIN, a secretary from London, was a Martian. What could old Sal have looked like?
Span No 218 - October 1972