Joanne Stewart
/Oranges & Lemons
What makes a lovely girl more lovely?
What makes her more curvy as well?
Oranges and lemons, says JOANNE STEWART.
Joanne is a housewife who is also a dolly-bird of exceptional impact, this being due as much to her figure of 37-23-37 as her honey-gold hair.
What you do, she says, is this. You take one orange, peel it, dissect it, and eat it with a thin slice of dry toast. That's for breakfast, and you can have a weak cup of China tea as well, but no milk.
For lunch you have another orange, only with nuts. If you want to go mad you can finish off with a small glass of a tomato juice.
For dinner you can have two oranges, and if you must have something hot to go with them try half a haddock. For afters you can have two dates but no custard.
But the lemons, Joanne, you haven't mentioned them. Don't you have a lemon or two in between?
A lemon, says Joanne, is someone who believes all this. Honestly, some housewives with this sense of humour can't half make you feel a fool.