Sandra Saffron

/

Victorian Bliss

The mod cons of Victorian days weren't the most imaginative form of plumbing. They were practical without being decorative. Six out of every ten cons were out at the back or even at the bottom of the garden, while bathrooms were considered a bit cissy.

Hip baths were the thing. You put one on the kitchen floor, filled it with hot water and sank as much of yourself into it as you could. It might sound a bit primitive now but to any Victorians who liked a bath it was bliss.

London dolly SANDRA SAFFRON found a genuine old hip bath in a market and bought it. Having got it home with the friendly help of a chap who was more interested in shapes than curios, Sandra thought she'd sample a bit of the old Victorian bliss herself. In the garden.

A great time was had by Sandra and everyone who could see over the garden walls.

Amanda Case

/

A Case of Black Velvet

Black velvet, should you need the information, is milk stout mixed with bubbly. It's for when you're feeling expensive and the pub is all rosy, glamorous light. It does wonders for the old metabolism and if yours is a bit jaded, try it.

A different kind of black velvet is AMANDA CASE, young and shapely housewife who lives in Brighton. Amanda is smooth, honeyed and vibrant. Whenever she goes down to the beach for a swim, she looks exactly like the imaginative picture all the fellers are dreaming about.

The fellers sit up. Well, what's the point of lying back with your eyes shut when the dream has come to life?

Tania Webb

/

Misdirected

Sweet TANIA WEBB was going this way in search of the path that led to the old barn where they kept an old plough and a nice old horse. And Tania was going to hitch the nice old horse to the old plough and carve a few furrows.

Losing her way, she got misdirected by some charming old geezer. He sent her thataway, probably because Tania so took his eye that he couldn’t think straight. He was quite used to misdirecting noisy motorists and sending them down a cart track to finish up in a pond, but his misdirection of Tania was just one of those mental aberrations brought about by being struck by lightning.

So, Tania never got to the old barn, but she did make a lovely wood nymph and spent an elfish afternoon gambolling around bushes and climbing up trees.

We didn’t care. We were in Carlisle eating biscuits at the time.

Cheryl Peters

/

All This And Soccer Too

Manchester is not just another city. It’s too full of Mancunians to be compared with Birmingham or Dusseldorf.

Naturally, there are tall Mancunians, short ones, round ones, lovely ones, naughty ones and funny ones. Among the lovely ones is CHERYL PETERS, ballet dancer, actress and singer, with symphonic statistics of 36-23-36.

There are also two formidable soccer teams in Manchester, so if you’re a soccer fan and you also have a natural tendency to prostrate yourself at the feet of beauty and beg for an autograph and a pat on the head, there’s no place like Manchester.

All this and the United too.

Utter bliss.

Jean Walker

/

Micro Mini

If there's one thing JEAN WALKER likes for a table decoration, it's a bowl of Cornish wildflowers.

Jean, who lives in that county, is a golden-haired peaches-and-cream girl. It's what comes naturally when you're out of the smog and away from the concrete. And with her long legs Jean looks fascinatingly healthy in a micro-mini. Jeans are acceptable if she's painting her cottage, but out and about she believes with the boys that legs are to be seen if you want to

Make life look like springtime.

Jean does have a trouser suit and jeans, but they don't quite do for her what a micro-mini does.

Helena Jemaris

/

Kiwi Fan

You can see how devoted HELENA JEMARIS is to the New Zealand All-Blacks. For the benefit of the dead ignorant, the All-Blacks con¬stitute the world’s most famous rugby team—and the most highly efficient. Helena doesn’t play herself—not rugby, anyway—but she knows how to treat participants when they carry them out of the rucks. She used to be a nurse. Now she’s a rather lovely model and looks extremely photogenic in her all-black outfit. If only we could get her into a little bit of a scrum, how exhilarating life would be.

Vesalinka Stevanovich

/

Vesalinka

Born twenty years ago in Yugoslavia, VESALINKA STEVANOVICH is now domiciled in England. She works in Bristol and now has her eye on a modelling career. Her vital statistics are 36-24-36 and you can see what a charming out­door vista she makes.

Sara Marsden

/

Secretary in the Sun

Another unforgettable secretary we know is SARA MARSDEN of Essex, and the sun has an appeal for her to.

Sara likes to acquire a golden tan before she goes on holiday, so that when she arrives in Spain or Italy or Sardinia, she's already on her way to the kind of tan that will make her glow until Christmas.

The leafy woods of Essex are her week-end habitat, which is Latin for rural retreat in Sara's case. She loves beat groups and dancing, she's a natural swinger and has classical vitalistics of 36-23-36.

Bettine Parmentier

/

Mother’s Help

In the Portobello Road, site of the famous London market, you can find BETTINE PARMENTIER helping her mother at their antiques stall. Bettine isn't just a pretty face—

"All right, don't be superfluous," said Fred.

Bettine is a real help. Her knowledge of antiques would hold any collector spellbound, especially if he liked girls as well as old doorknockers.

When she's not at the stall, Bettine is travelling around the country looking for bargains, and many an old gentleman owning a Boer War assegai has been induced to discuss a sale over a cup of country tea.

"Tell her to come round and see me," said Fred, "I don't have no assegai but I don't half make intoxicating tea."

Samantha Bond

/

Samantha

A girl of today is SAMANTHA BOND, a lover of pop music and everything else that makes life a lovely giddy whirl of fun and fantasy.

Not for Samantha are the prophets of gloom. She's only got to give one of them that flashing smile of hers and he's a changed prophet.

"Ye gods," he'll say, "those ivory-white teeth, darling, are they the result of being so healthy and happy ?"

"No, just that extra-special double-mint whiteness that comes from using Crystal- Foam toothpaste with formula WGYF added," says Samantha.

"What's WGYF?" asks the entranced prophet.

"We've Got You Fooled," says Samantha.

Monika Dietrich

/

I Think We Are Being Followed

At the motor show they were all hustling and bustling to get closer to models with the most modern lines.

And wherever model MONIKA DIETRICH went the crowds were sure to go. Monika came to Britain from Germany a few years ago and now lives in London, where she’s working in TV commercials and making film appearances. And in this appearance at the motor show she was more sensational than automobiles that fold up for parking in a pantry.

In any case, only a car with a chassis that measures 39"-23"-36" has any real chance of being as sensational as Monika.

Wanda Liddell

/

There Was This Ringing In His Ears

The gas man came to call.

Afterwards he wished he hadn't.

The dolly who rented the apartment was sensational. So much so that she hurt his eyes and the only way he could get rid of the agony was to put his head in the gas oven and look for a leak.

While he was trying to get himself all oblivious in this way, the utterly sensational dolly, WANDA LIDDELL, made a phone call. The gas man didn't participate in the ensuing phone chat at all, but there was this ringing in his ears all the time.

When he got back to the gas works he told the foreman not to send him there any more, it hurt too much. The intrigued foreman went round to see for himself.

Wanda, a green-eyed London bird, answered the door and immediately there was this ringing in the foreman's ears. His leg hurt too. Wanda had closed the door on it. She can recognise a foreman when she sees one.

Vicki Ashley

/

Coming Your Way

Coming Your Way, Cobbers

For some time now VICKI ASHLEY has been awaiting her emigration papers. She applied to go to Australia and by now should be on her way.

We thought we'd let you know, cobbers. There must be quite a few Down Under who don't want to miss her. These pictures of Vicki were taken in the autumn and we don't honestly think she'll have changed much by the time she lands in all that sunshine. There may be quite a few others who'll land with her, so just for the record she'll be the brown-eyed one measuring 37-23-36. But don't start checking up with your tape measure or big as you are you'll get socked.

Vicki was a manicurist before she became a model, so if any Aussie wants his nails trimmed and his cuticles looking nice, Vicki's your girl. Only bow from the waist down first as she likes all fellers to be gentlemen. Don't try throwing her over your horse and galloping off to the outback with her. She'll conk you silly with a collapsible hammer she carries.

Herta Michaelides

/

On Stage

On Stage, Luv

It was ever so friendly when HERTA MICHAELIDES from Cyprus appeared for her first part on the London stage.

She was waiting with nervous trepidation for the curtain to go up, and then this friendly voice called, "On stage, luv." Herta liked that. In Cyprus and Greece, they use a different expression, one which roughly translated means, "Come on, get a Grecian move on."

Herta has spent most of her nineteen years in Cyprus, where she was born of an English mother and a Greek father. Now she is in London, living in Pimlico with her English husband and working in the theatre. She's hoping for utterly dramatic things to happen, although she's willing to wait a while to appear with the great Olivier.

She's nice, is Herta.

Diana Reed

/

We Never Had A Lodger Like This

We’ve had lodgers we didn’t even know about until they started leaving notes complaining about the motor in the fridge, and we’ve had lodgers whom we’ve had to way lay on the stairs and speak sternly to about getting their hair cut.

We’ve never had a lodger like DIANA REED. We suppose we must have done something that made us undeserving of same. Diana has a cute apartment in London, and with her experience of interior decorating her own flair here is for the unconventional contemporary (whatever that is)—she naturally keeps the whole thing looking dizzy.

Diana also likes cultivating rare potted plants and keeps tropical fish.

Some of the lodgers we’ve had would have eaten both.

Just a lot of dull, dim savages, mate?