Toni Townsend

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Is This Arcadia ?

Arcadia, of course, is the place where all is joy and bliss, where everyone is beautiful, and the music is acceptable in the ears of all. They don’t have a Jimmy Young programme, mind you, but after you've been there a couple of hours you find you don't miss it a bit.

We thought we’d landed in Arcadia when our balloon came down in an uncharted area west of Poole in Dorset. Ensconced in a woodland glade and bedecked in filmy drapery was (we thought) the Queen of Arcadia herself. However, after she’d put her flute down, we found she was a Bournemouth housewife. Her name was TONI TOWNSEND but as far as we were concerned, she was better in our viewfinder than any Queen of Arcadia and her vitalistics of 37 - 23 - 37 proved it.

Helena McGuire

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A Bird Afloat

When it comes to making the most of the Thames tributary just around the corner from where she lives, HELENA McGUIRE has just the right connection. In the shape of a lovely feller who owns a motor launch.

Mini-clad Helena looks enchanting on anything that floats, whether it's a launch, a punt or a barge. Her idea of bliss is that which comes from boats and waterways, plus a lovely feller who knows what to do if anything goes wrong.

There was one guy who proved a bit of a disaster, though. When the engine conked out one day he shouted, "Women and children first!" And threw her overboard. It wasn't the most exhilarating experience of her life, and Helena crossed him off her list of desirable boat owners.

Nicola Taylor

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Wizard Winger

Soccer club managers who are dead worried about the lack of skills in their teams could do themselves a favour by watching the way NICOLA TAYLOR can manipulate a ball.

Supple, graceful and eye- catchingly gifted, Nicola is a wizard winger and can make an opposing 4-4-2 formation look like a lot of stranded bits and pieces.

But she's not for transfer, however. Her husband won't let her go. He likes to keep her gifts at home. They play in their garden every Saturday, and Nicola usually wins by 42-nil.

Kay De Lisle

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Time Off From The Kitchen

It was a nice afternoon down in Dorset, so housewife KAY DE LISLE took time off from the kitchen to have a ramble around the countryside. She lost her skirt en route, it got hooked off by a clumsy-horned cow, and Kay was too sort of allergic to ask for it back.

Farmer Bulrush came along and Kay blushingly told him that one of his cows was responsible for her being in her knicks. "Ah, that be Daisy," he said, "her's a larky old dear.

Doan 'ee worry none, me darling, ain't seen a prettier pair o' knicks in years."

"Oh, you are awful," said Kay, "but ever so nice."

Beautiful Britons No 240 - July 1975

Donna Sharp

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I Will See You In My Wig

Pop fan DONNA SHARP of Coventry in Warwickshire has just invested in a quite lovely wig. They're all wearing them. Donna isn't wearing hers in this pic, she's just having a chat with one of her boyfriends.

One? How many has she got, then?

Scores. She happens to be a smasher and there's safety in numbers.

"See you later, Jimmy," she said, "in my wig."

"I'm not wearing any wig of yours," said Jimmy.

"Watch it, comical," said Donna, "or you won’t see me at all."

Well, when he did see her Jimmy said, "Great galloping steamboats, you're groovy, baby, you've got 'em all licked."

We don't know what size Donna's wig is but Donna herself measures 36-23-36. That's what they call the makings of an even disposition. Anyone who differs considerably from this and measures something like 30- 30-37 can resign themselves to the fact that they've slipped.

Spick and Span Extra No 35 - Summer 1970

Melanie Davies

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One Of The Serious Kind

A lot of you read all sorts of things about students and what they get up to and why they kick around, but you don't read so much about students who just get on with it.

One of the serious kind when it comes to applying herself to her studies is MELANIE DAVIES of Southampton. She’s really getting down to it at her university, but because it’s only the upset kind who get their names in the papers, we thought we’d do something about giving Melanie a mention.

Of course, in the first place she’s a very good looking student, and in the second place she makes the cutest pin-up girl. She’s lovely and symmetrical. 36"-24'-36'.

And she’s eighteen years old and that’s a vital age in anyone's life.

Carole-Anne Blake

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I'll Catch You Up

They were panting along down the grassy track, their spiked shoes picking up every leaf until their soles were absolutely clogged with the stuff.

It was one of those exhausting cross-country events which only fanatics go in for, and Prideaux senior was leading the field, with Biffkins panting behind him.

Suddenly Prideaux senior gave up. He stopped dead. Biffkins panted by him, breasting the upward slope that led out of the wood into a field full of chewing cows.

"It’s all right, Biffkins,” said Prideaux, “I’ll catch you up.”

Crafty devil. He didn’t say a word to Biffkins that he’d seen a gorgeous blonde perilously near some barbed wire, and poor old Biffkins just panted on and never knew what he’d missed.

What had he missed?

A corker. CAROLE-ANNE BLAKE is a London model with lovely shape and a winsome twinkle. Prideaux senior introduced himself and said, “Just thought I’d tell you about the barbed wire.”

“Oh thanks,” said Carole-Anne, “but I know about it.”

Still, she thought, he was an awfully decent young feller to point it out to her and they had a long chat about wildflowers, and Prideaux said he collected stamps as well.

Good old Prideaux senior.

Karen Burch

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Dizzy Mini

Down at Joe's there's a gorgeous thermostatic blonde who drives them all dizzy.

Thermostatic in this context means this gorgeous blonde remains in control and makes sure you don't boil over, mate.

Name? KAREN BURCH.

Occupation? Secretary at Joe's, the turf accountant's shop.

Hobby? Collecting money—what else?

Ambition? To marry a millionaire.

Age? Twenty-three.

Inches? 36-24-36.

Verdict? Declared the best bet Joe ever took on as a secretary, because she's not only competent, she's decorative and adorable.

In her horizontally striped mini, you can see why Karen drives them all dizzy.

Spick and Span Extra No 35 - Summer 1970

Nina James

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College Days

Studying very hard for a massive amount of O levels, NINA JAMES finds college days exhilarating but earnest.

Getting off the campus to the quiet of the countryside helps her to concentrate on the earnest side of study, and the only complaint comes from the college fellers worrying about where she’s got to.

Nina hopes to be a teacher eventually.

She'll make a highly photogenic one, and all the boys are going to give her toffees at Easter.

Jane Paul

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One Of Those Yesterdays

The simplicity and brevity of feminine fashion today is absolutely remarkable. There's hardly anything to any of it.

And yet it seems only yesterday when those flared, full-skirted dresses and frilly petticoats were so much the rage that nobody ever thought girls would wear anything else at all.

They couldn't have, not without looking overloaded.

No, anything different, we mean.

To give you a look at the trendy frills of yesterday. We had JANE PAUL hire an outfit and wear it with a maxi-coat. How about that, then?

Quite a number of you won't have seen anything like it. Some of you might not even believe it. But it's true. It was only yesterday—or so it seems—when all the girls went about looking like this. They were all frills and stocking-tops.

You prefer the simplicity and brevity of today?

Good on yer, then, and the best of luck.

Spick and Span Extra No 35 - Summer 1970

Jennifer Jay

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What a Lovely Cook

Not so long-ago JENNIFER JAY was a lovely bank clerk.

Now she's a lovely housewife. And what a lovely cook too. On baking days, the whole place is sort of warmly aromatic. but if you call to sell anything don't go into the kitchen or you'll get conked. Jennifer likes to keep her kitchen to herself and people who put their noses into the hot oven on baking days aren't welcome.

She's quite a dish herself with her measurements of 36-25-37.

Anita Dale

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House Hunting

In Southampton, Hants, lives ANITA DALE.

She likes working in stylish coffee bars where the environment is atmospheric of the vitality of the young.

It keeps her bubbling.

She went house hunting the other day.

It's the kind of pursuit girls and boys find themselves engaged in when they're going to be married. You need a roof over your head to start with, as it's all going to work against you if you wake up after the honeymoon and find you're out in the rain.

Anita hunting for a suitable house made such an elevating picture that we followed her round with a camera. Hope you like the results.

Spick and Span Extra No 35 - Summer 1970

Elenor Noyes

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Sunshine Trip

Looking forward to an early spring trip to the sunshine of the Canaries is ELEANOR NOYES.

Looking forward to seeing her arrive are the masculine bravos, and it won't be their fault if Eleanor doesn't enjoy herself. The trouble is, said Eleanor, they're so enthusiastic about blondes and what can you do with twelve escorts every time you venture out?

Try pushing them off the edge of the swimming pool, love.

Spick & Span Extra No 50 - Spring 1974

Sandra Marsh

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Modern Arcadia

Old Arcadia was a kind of rustic paradise full of nymphs and shepherds and curly white sheep. There was laughter and song and the chuckle of the winding stream.

Modern Arcadia is any rural retreat where you can see lovely dollies like SANDRA MARSH. There don't have to be any curly white sheep or winding streams. Just Sandra.

Sandra is a Bristol girl, she's dreamy, she’s Arcadian.

Beautiful Britons No 203 - October 1972

Lynn Palmer

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Let's Get Away From It All

"What's that?" said Nigel.

"Let's get away from it all," said lovely LYNN PALMER.

"Where to?" said Nigel, who had Blackpool in mind.

"I rather fancy an island in the Pacific," said Lynn, "and I could wear a grass skirt and flowers."

Well, Nigel knew a grass skirt and flowers would be out of place in Blackpool, but a Pacific island seemed such a long way.

"How about the Isle of Wight ?" he said.

Lynn pushed him into a pothole. A pothole is the only place for a feller who doesn't want to get away from it all.

Spick & Span Extra No 50 - Spring 1974