Irene Oberzig

Tres Tricky

There was once a feller called Buck Upp who tried to drink a quart of beer out of a Christmas balloon but it blew up in his unprepared kisser and squirted light ale all down the neck of his hunting shirt.

There was also the girl in the skirt and Hungarian petticoats who said “I bet I can squeeze through a small hoop feet first in five seconds.” And she did but it took a lot longer than five seconds and she didn’t half look pretty.

People like to try things the tricky way, it’s a bit of a gamble that we all enjoy. For instance, the trickiest place in which to change a pair of nylons is the driving seat of a car. West Berlin fraulein, IRENE OBERZIG, tried it and proved it.

She could have gone into her office and used the powder room and changed in comfort, but no, in the tradition of Buck Upp and the man who tried to lasso an elephant with his braces, Irene used the front seat of her car. Oh well, they will do it.

What made her fall down afterwards?

It was all that cramp.

Jenny Price

What Lovely Lines

We’re so confused by JENNY PRICE, whose enchantment flows lyrically over us, that we can’t follow the lines of her car. Jenny, who has just about the nicest legs in Wales, can confuse the most clear-minded car fanatic.

Adrienne Houston


22-year-old ADRIENNE HOUSTON is a beautician and fills the first requisite of her job by being beautiful herself. If you feel your girlfriend isn’t making the most of her charm, send her along to Adrienne and she will emerge from the salon so ravishing that you’ll think she’s really much too good for you. Then where do you go from there?

Adrienne’s own charm lies not in her countenance alone, for she has beautiful legs and a trim figure that measures 35-22-35.

Kathryn Jenkins

Peace and Quiet

When shop assistant KATHRYN JENKINS takes a day off she likes to get away from the noise and the bustle of her work. The customers love Kathryn, of course, especially the young men who, even if they don’t want to buy anything, pop in to ask her the time.

In the peace and quiet of the countryside around her home town, Coventry, Kathryn can listen to nothing noisier than the swish of the sickle and the buzz of the bees. The occasional farmer’s boy might come along and say “Well, Oi’ll be struck dumb,” but so might anyone spotting Kathryn with her lovely legs and her figure of 38-22-36.

Sandra McPherson

Skirts Are Short This Year!

Girl going shopping in her short short skirt is SANDRA McPHERSON, the pride of Bonny Scotland.

If you trip up on the way down, you can't say it was because your feet got tangled up in the skirt!

Be like Sandra. Having regained controlled equilibrium, look as if you regard the whole thing with nonchalant indifference.

You will then arrive at the door looking like a well-dressed futuristic shopper of 19??

Jill Summers

How Do They Look To You?

Irish model JILL SUMMERS has a lovely negligee and a beautiful perm, but currently she’s concentrating on the effect of her new black nylons. Jill thinks they make quite a contrast to her white frills—but how do they look to you? No postcards, please—just whistles.

Pamela Johnson

Reflective Mood

Fashion model PAMELA JOHNSON, elegantly poised at 5' 6", is in a reflective mood as she eyes herself in the mirror, but her problem isn't the same as yours or ours. She’s bothered about whether to spend two months on the Riviera or three months on the Adriatic. The difference in the time period is governed by economics, it being cheaper on the Adriatic.

But all those marvellous Mediterranean dishes . . .?

Med dishes we like. You’re delicious too, Pam.

Roswita Mavermann

Let Yourself Go

It’s not every day you see a girl on a bicycle. Once upon a time many a pretty poppet flashed by on her two-wheeler, creating as pretty a picture of graceful movement as you could wish for.

Not these days. These days a girl on a bike is almost a rarity. They’ve all got their cars, from sporty runabouts to incredibly expensive limousines.

So, naturally, when we saw ROSWITA MAVERMANN, a delightful secretarial type, on a gleaming two-wheeler, we stopped to drink in the nostalgic atmosphere of the view.

I wish you’d go away,” said Roswita, “I can’t learn to ride while you‘re there.”

“Why can’t you?”

“Because you’re looking,” said Roswita.

“Go on, let yourself go.”

“Certainly not,” said Roswita, “I might fall off.”

Nina Barrett

What a Find!

We didn't know how lucky we were the day we lost our train. We had to take a bus instead and who should drop a box of preserved fruits at our feet just as we were about to board the platform was a striking example of photogenic sex appeal from Newcastle.

As well as our train, we lost our bus. Still, we did get offered a preserved fruit. It took our appetite away a bit as we don't eat between meals.

Her name was NINA BARRETT. She moved to London three years ago to work as a secretary and is now doing modelling. She has fascinating green eyes, a fluent flow of scintillating conversation and a way of convincing one that there are other things in life besides money.

When we've got plenty, we'll go and get convinced all over again.

For your records, Nina is 5ft 2”, dynamically blonde and measure 36"-22"-35".

Lorna Morrell

It’s Not Cricket

When you think of Yorkshire you think of how they can’t half play cricket up there.

You think of the wham of bat clouting ball and the cry of agony as ball suddenly clouts a forgetful batsman. A forgetful batsman is an old silly— anyone who can’t remember to duck when there’s a bouncer on its way comes into that category.

Well, then, that’s what you think of when you think of Yorkshire. You certainly wouldn’t imagine that they’ve got a bricklayer up there who’s better with a trowel than she is with a bat.

Fact, though. LORNA MORRELL from Queensbury, near Bradford, can lay a brick better than you can lay a fiver on a hundred-to-one cert. She also collects antiques. And she’s got just the right kind of legs to make a miniskirt look gorgeous.

Still, it just wouldn’t be cricket to produce a photograph of lovely Lorna and say “Look, there’s a Yorkshire bricklayer.’’ The surprise would be equivalent to what you get for being an old silly when there’s a bouncer on its way.

Lisa Linnette

It’s Great Out West

We don’t know how long ago it was when some knowledgeable American newspaper tycoon coined the phrase, ‘Go West, young man,’ It doesn’t really matter. It’s still the place to go to. As far west as Vancouver, for instance, the girls are gorgeous and apart from the one-track-minded prospectors who never think about anything but nuggets as big as their heads, what greater incentive is there to the young man than glamour?

For instance, meet LISA LINNETTE, Vancouver singer and dancer, lovely to look at and delightful to know.

Let’s face it. If the girls out west really are as gorgeous as Lisa, who wants to go anywhere else? To the young man already there we can only say we hope you know when you're well off.

Maureen Pike

Viva La Vista

Sweet and charming MAUREEN PIKE was admiring the vista in her Hertfordshire countryside when a round man with a square camera bumped into her. "So sorry!" he said, but there were no hard feelings on either side and Maureen, in fact, was delighted. She loves being in front of a camera. And at 5' 7' you can see how prettily she filled his lens.

Ninon Cerdan

Madamoiselle , Your Slip Is Showing

It can't always be helped, in this age of short skirts, long legs and low cars, many a girl has been a vivid enchantment to the male eye as she alighted from her auto in the high street.

When NINON CERDAN, Continental fashion model, asked to be put down at Henri Lavant's so that she could keep a hairdressing appointment, it was as much a pleasure as a courtesy for Henri to hasten forward and tactfully advise her that her slip was showing. Tactfully? What a fool.

Ninon had no alternative but to box the ears of the imbecile. Of course, her slip was showing. How could it not under the circumstances? But it was one thing for a lady to enchant the eyes of the passers-by and quite another for a fool of a man to mention the fact.

One looks but one doesn't say anything.

Except perhaps— “Ah, madamoiselle, you are looking lovelier than ever today."

Peggy O'Neill

What Went Wrong

Nothing, actually. If anything gives you the impression that it did, please forget it. It's nothing that isn't common between any girl and any car. They just don’t understand each other.

PEGGY O’NEILL considers she tries hard enough herself, and is convinced the car doesn’t try at all. Peggy is as Irish as her name, by the way, lives in Chelsea and is mad about odd-looking clothes.

The girl prefers dogs to cars. And she wouldn't be Irish if she didn’t think a horse could reach any place in front of any car.

"Sure, did you ever hear of a car that wasn't going where it shouldn't and getting there before it arrived?"