Jesse James

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Survey On The Mini

Being absolutely fanatical about the mini we did a survey on it. We sent an intelligent, observant man with a clinical mind round North London to interview pretty mini-skirted girls.

With a heavy notebook under his arm, he called on 18-year-old JESSE JAMES. (No relation to the American bandit, just a coincidental clash of names.) "Do come in and meet my family," said Jesse, when she found out he was on a survey.

Well, after he'd met her family and been given tea, he said to Jesse, "Is it your opinion that the mini is here to stay?"

"It's staying with me," said Jesse, "I don't have anything else in my wardrobe except ski-pants."

“Oh, do you ski?” said our clinical-minded, intelligent surveyor, and Jesse said she'd love to, and they had a long conversation about mountain slopes and chalet parties and reindeers.

By the time they'd covered every slope in the Alps it was dark outside and time for him to go home and write up his analysis. It covered just one page of his heavy notebook and was all about how ravishing Miss Jesse James looked in midnight-blue ski pants.

Beautiful Britons No 155 - October 1968

Pat Booth

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Travelling Oxonian

Born in Oxford twenty years ago PAT BOOTH is mad about going places. Some of us never get farther than the end of the High Street, from where the rest of the world looks strange and intimidating, and we settle down to becoming all gnarled and parochial and slightly idiotic.

Pat, however, has been all over the world, including the U.S.A. and has a remarkable insight into the way other people live. She's eaten almost every national dish you care to name and has been whistled at by mustachioed Romeos in every capital you've ever thought about.

What would you say if we told you her ambition was to trek across Mongolia on a pony? Watch out for a dish of Mongolian custard?

Span No 161 - February 1968

Sandy Blair

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Poetical Pin-Up

Poetical Pin-Up

A girl must do a steady job of work in order to earn herself acceptable board and lodging, but that doesn't mean she has to become as soulless as her typewriter.

If you've got poetry in your heart, as SANDY BLAIR of Canterbury has, it can take more than a rattling commercial keyboard to smother it. Sandy likes to write poetry every spare moment she can get, and none of it starts off on the lines of 'Violets are blue. or roses are red . .

It's much more like

Ah, brooding walls of glass and lime

That soar in concrete grey

Come down, dark walls, come down

And crumble.

Sort of modern and passionate.

Sandy is a poem herself, and lovely to look at as well.

Spick No 246 - May 1974

Mrs Smith

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More from the fabulous Mrs Smith

Maggie McCully

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Maggie

“Have you dropped her down a mineshaft?’’ A question, that, which is typical of many we’ve had thrown at us in connection with MAGGIE McCULLY. Although we’ve never said so, we now admit that we do indeed make a habit of dropping all Maggies down mineshafts. Girls like to go a long way in this modern world, particularly if they are beautiful, like Maggie McCully, and we’re sure the way from the top to a bottom of a mineshaft is very long indeed.

“No, seriously, you don’t mean all that jazz." Listen, Buster, there’s no jazz about it. Ask Maggie.

"All right. Did you get dropped down a mineshaft, Maggie?"

“But of course.”

“What on earth was it like?”

“Narrow. I was scraped all the way from top to bottom.”

Good old Maggie.

Carole Gaye

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Who Was Meant For You?

“I didn't think anyone special was meant for me,” said Orace, “me being nothing special myself, I was just going to settle for Mavis.”

"But Mavis can't even cook," said Dilly.

"That's what I mean," said Orace, "I didn't think I was entitled to make stipulations. Me mother said Mavis would do fine, she said I never knew what I was eating, so what did it matter about whether me bride could cook or not?"

"Still," said Dilly, "you're not all that negative. Look how you fell off the bus that time without breaking your leg.

"True," said Orace, "I was only conked senseless. Anyway, then me Uncle Percival sent me a photograph of CAROLE GAYE. She's a pop singer, y'know."

"Smashing," said Dilly.

"Me Uncle Percival said think big, think ambitious. He said forget Mavis, some village idiot is bound to make her happy one day. So, I'm thinking real ambitious. I'm going to court Miss Gaye."

"You'll be lucky," said Dilly, "she's got a six-foot boyfriend."

Beautiful Britons No 155 - October 1968