Marie Graham
/Very Vital is Housewife Marie Graham
Very vital is housewife MARIE GRAHAM. She belongs to a keep-fit class, a tennis club, a boomerang learners' cycle-
Hold on, wait a moment, what's a boomerang learners' cycle?
You know about Australia, don't you, thickhead?
Yeh, and about boomerangs, but I don't know about boomerang learners.
In that case, shut up, yes, and not only is Marie learning how to hurl a boomerang and dodge it on the way back, but she's also doing car maintenance and athletics.
Ye gods, that's enough, I'm all-over racked nerves.
So, you should be at your age.
Marie Graham & Eve Law
/I Can't Come Now
"I can't come now," said MARIE GRAHAM, Hampshire secretary, "I'm all tied up."
"It's only the milkman, anyway," said EVE LAW, ditto, "and he's nobody."
It was all in aid of some amateur dramatics, and Eve was dedicated to making it all look brilliantly authentic. This included getting Marie all tied up and then tickling her foot.
"This is hysterical," said Marie.
"That's right," said Eve, "just shriek your head off kind of lifelike."
Marie thought it was all very well to be kind of lifelike, but there's a point when too much reality turns into how to go bonkers on an overdose of giggling heebie-jeebies.
At which point it's time to suggest a break for coffee
Well, we'll leave it at that and bring you more of the girls next month. Don't get too worked up waiting.
Spick and Span 2000
/Rosie
Anne Lee
/Secretarial Riposte
The guy with the confident verbosity which is another way of saying he had an over-rated line of chat- ran into a smart riposte when he tried to date Secretary ANNE LEE. Following an ambiguous conversation concerning office equipment, he first told her she sounded like a dream incarnate and then said, "I think we ought to meet how about under the clock at Victoria Station 6 p.m. tomorrow?"
“Love to,” said Anne, “can we make it a foursome?”
“Of course.”
“Good,” said Anne, “I'II be there with my mum and dad.”
Dreamy Bedtime Stories
/Excuse Me - Who Me - Dreamy A Candid Publication
Paget Publications Ltd, London 1950
Wanda Liddell
/Chatting Up Wanda
It wasn't going to cost anything except time, and that was going to be very well spent, so up trotted Fred to WANDA LIDDELL, latest pin-up favourite, and began to chat her up.
"I don't suppose you're all that interested in operations," he said, "but at my time of life-
"You don't look a day over eighty," said Wanda, who was spending the afternoon in Hampstead.
"Here, hold on," said Fred, "I'm not seventy yet, and I didn't have the stitches out till yesterday. It's me appendix, lasted me nearly a lifetime, it did, but it had to come out in the end. Gad, I must say you don't half look a treat, darling-
"Now watch it, audacious," said Wanda.
"Anyway, I don't want to bore you," " said Fred, "but l've got to have my arthritis removed tomorrow, and considering I only had me appendix stitches taken out yesterday-"
"Goodbye, you poor old soul," said Wanda.
"Do you have to go?" said Fred.
"Yes," said Wanda, "you are boring me.”
Caress - Fifth Avenue Number
/Du Pont Lady - 1950’s - Maurice Hall Publications, Westgate Terrace, London.
Spick and Span 2000
/Anna
Dreamy Bedtime Stories
/Foolproof
Dreamy Bedtime Stories 1950 - Paget Publications Ltd, Jessops Road, Chiswick Road, London.
Sandra Morrell
/The Impeccable Look
The phone had been replaced a long time ago, the date for dinner at a lamplit bistro in Chelsea had been fixed and all SANDRA MORRELL had to do was to gild and dress the lily and get there.
She being the lily, of course.
"Hurry up," said her flat mate, "you'll be late.' "Any moment now," said Sandra, "I'II be ready."
Sandra is a girl who can't be hurried under any circs. She likes to be absolutely sure that when she is dated, she looks impeccable. Charlie Greyduck thought that impeccable was something to do with nuts roasted in an iron pan, over an open fire, but dead ignorance keeps Charlie where he is, right at the back.
Anyway, by the time Sandra was ready she did look impeccable and lovely beyond anything. Except that as she came down the stairs her flat mate, Henrietta, said, "Not in that mini, you are silly, you'll have to change it for a maxi. Or put stretch tights on."
"Oh sorry," blushed Sandra, "I forgot."
She shouldn't have worried. Chelsea would have looked and loved. You don't have to be conformist to be impeccable. Not in Chelsea, anyway.
Maria Assin
/It Wasn't For Want Of Trying
There was this rubber canoe, see.
It was a new acquisition for MARIA ASSIN. Maria works all week in an office and spends all weekends out-of-doors. That way a girl manages to keep pretty and vital.
Maria had the darnedest trouble launching the canoe and even more trying to get into it. It couldn't have been more difficult trying to get on the neck of an elephant with a rope ladder.
There's a classical method of launching and paddling a canoe, of course One, you swoosh it into the water. Two, you sling your left leg over the starboard side. Three, you sling your right leg in. Four - as Maria found out - you fall flat on your face over the port side. No one can say Maria didn't try. She did. Both classical and unclassical methods. The canoe remained obdurately determined, Maria likewise. It became a fight to the finish.
"Pardon me," called a wag from dry land, "but watch out for the torpedoes.
'Blow the torpedoes,' said Maria, "I'm in at last and now it's full steam ahead.
It's one thing to be an obdurately determined young lady, and quite another to be over-confident.
It wasn't the torpedoes.
It was the canoe.
It gave a wet cough and Maria went overboard. Not for the first time, either. "You're all wet, " called the wag from the bank.
"So are you," said Maria.
Sadie Lydon
/Shapely Sadie
All the way from Wiltshire comes shapely SAIDE LYDON to sweetly illustrate that the reason why young men still go West is not so much for gold-which is somewhat over-staked, anyway-as for curves. If Sadie stayed on the beach in a bikini all day, be honest, fellers, wouldn't you miss lunch just to keep her continuously in focus? Anyone who wouldn't is a miserable gourmand who marches through life on his stomach.
London may be bursting with beautiful girls, but it's still all eyes on one like Sadie as she trips jauntily down Shaftesbury Avenue to see her agent.