Zoe West

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April Shower

"Excuse me, dearest," called the unwanted male voice through the frontdoor letter-box, "but I've come about your electric iron."

"I'm sure it must be very pressing," called back ZOE WEST, London secretary with green eyes and a way of slaying men from the Electricity Board, "but you'll have to call back later. I'm just about to take a shower."

"Well, if you won't be embarrassed, I won’t either," called the voice a little hoarsely. "I like a shower myself. I usually take mine in April, but if there's room in there I'll take it earlier this year."

What a pusher, thought Zoe. It was no use arguing with that kind of nutcracker, so she went into the hall, aimed the nozzle of the washing-up detergent container through the letter-box and squirted him a faceful. He staggered back, lurched into the street and the heavy rain turned him into a foaming miracle.

Vicki Munro

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Where There's Heather

Scotland is the country where you'll find the colourful heather in all its wild beauty, and where there's heather there are kilts and other things entirely Scottish.

George Pumpkin—what a funny name—went up to Scotland for a holiday once. He hardly noticed the heather because the place was full of bonny birds. He’s still up there and his firm keeps writing to him asking him when he's coming back. So does his girl friend. But George is quite happy, thank you.

So would you be if you had girls like VICKI MUNRO to look at every day.

Vicki is nineteen and a fashion model.

But despite all the elegant houha of fashion modelling there's nothing Vicki loves more than outdoor sports like tennis and netball, which she plays with such bang-up enthusiasm that all the other girls keep gasping, "Och, my eye." Which is Scottish for "Oh, corks."

Ruth Cavendish

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Still Swinging

There's no pin-up girl quite like RUTH CAVENDISH.

Well, that's what all her fans say. And her fans are so fanatical you're chancing your life if you argue with them. You get slung off Tower Bridge or dropped from Nelson's hat. Nelson's hat is so far from the ground in Trafalgar Square that from the time you get dropped to the time you hit the flagstones the pigeons have flown round in six circuits.

Ruth is having a lovely life. She's a cashier and the most infectiously delicious brunette you ever clapped your peepers on. She's as Scottish as Flora MacDonald and as curvy as Clara Bow.

Clara Bow? Who's she?

Sorry, we forgot you didn’t go in for pre-war birds, only for modern swingers like Ruth.

Gloria Gene

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Mission In Majorca

"Well, so long, Hortense," said Humphrey, "I'm off now."

"You've been off since you took that assault course in 1944,” said his wife. "See you in a couple of months," said Humphrey.

"Oh no you don't," said Hortense, holding him back by his ear, "you'll see me same as usual when you come home from the gravel pits."

"I've changed me vocation," said Humphrey, "I'm off on a mission to Majorca."

"Top secret?" said Hortense, twisting his ear anti-clockwise. It hurts more that way.

"Hardly," said Humphrey, not minding the pain because of the semiconscious bliss that pervaded him. "I'm just going to spend my time looking for FO 777. No, leggo me ear, I'm all agog."

"What's FO 777—a pre-war Bentley?" asked Hortense.

"It's Female Operative No. 777," replied Humphrey, "and my mission is to find her in Majorca before some other swine finds her first.”

"That's not going to take you a couple of months," said his wife.

"I reckon to find her in a week," said Humphrey, "the rest of the time is for social bliss."

"I thought so,” said Hortense. "Come here," she said and yanked him indoors, belted him stupid and then made him stand in a corner until all his hot romantic flushes had died down.

Humphrey, you see, had heard that Yorkshire girl GLORIA GENE was going to Majorca, and as Gloria is a honey-eating cracker who looks marvellous in a Majorcan bikini measuring 36-24-36, Humphrey didn't want to be left out of all the joys of playing beach ball with her. It was Hortense who sabotaged him.

Wives are lovely and protective.

Gloria is not only shapely, but she keeps in shape by enjoying all the vigour of an outdoor life, and among her pursuits is a love of swimming in natural waters, not pools. Her home town is Goole in Yorkshire.

Jane Downing

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It Won't Go Round

It wasn't half a problem for housewife JANE DOWNING, who wanted to get from here to there without wasting time and when her only available transport was a junior two-wheeler.

Hitching up in her mini, Jane rode like the dappers, as they say. Something twanged on the crest of the hill and it wasn't a simple suspender. It was something highly mechanical. The bike pitched to a halt and Jane fell off.

"What a silly old stupid old front wheel," she said after five minutes of poking it and thumping it, "it won't go round."

However, a passing motorist pulled up and offered her a lift. Jane would have gratefully accepted, only he had a great big dog with huge teeth in the back of the car, so she said no, she'd wait for the bus.

That's Jane doing her waiting stint. She stopped all the traffic, not just the bus.

Linda White

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Girl In A Mini

We've featured many girls in many minis, but there’s always room for one more, as the jolly sailor said when he pushed his way into the crowded Turkish Baths for Ladies.

"Here, gedoudavit,” yelled Lady Appledaw as she saw him through the steam.

"That's all right, don't mind me," he said, but the crowded ladies minded very much and shoved him into the steam vault, and he's been a bright red ever since.

Actually, we meant, of course, that there’s always room for one more girl in a mini, especially LINDA WHITE. Linda is a beauty consultant and has been in America for two years, working her way from coast to coast to see the country and to help lovely Americans look lovelier.

Sue Anders

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In a London Park

It was the time of the year in this particular London park when there were a lot of nuts around.

To make it even better for the squirrels, a rather lush, pulverisingly exotic brunette called SUE ANDERS was also frequently in the offing. She brought with her bags of other nuts, the kind that save the squirrels all the bother of cracking them.

We mention that to let you know how kind Sue is. The fact that she's photogenic doesn't need mentioning, obviously, but it’s always nice to know a pulverisingly exotic brunette has a kind heart.

Why is it nice ?

Well, she might be kind to you one day.

You like nuts, don't you ?

Sue is 19, aiming for fashion photography and is currently looking forward to making her mark with a top London agency. Her outdoor exercises are just the kind to keep her photogenically involved with maintaining her perfect figure.

Jean Stewart

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Horse Sense

It isn't only the fellers who like the long legs of JEAN STEWART, a Glasgow salesgirl. Some horses she knows also show a fine sense of appreciation. The talkative one said, "But who'd be a horse? You can't whistle a girl, you can only neigh. And when you neigh they come and tell you that you've already had your oats. What a life.”

Marie Graham and Nicola Taylor

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Having Trouble

We've lately been following MARIE GRAHAM and NICOLA TAYLOR around. So would any man who had an appreciative eye for gorgeous legs and briefest mini-skirts, but that's not to say you wouldn't make it up to your wife by taking her home a dazzling bouquet of roses.

We found Marie and Nicola having trouble with their car.

"Great skyhooks," said Nicola, the one in the rugby league jersey, "talk about modern technology when you have to tow the thing home. I don't know what my husband will say.

Marie said she knew what hers would say. "Where's my tea and muffins ?”

The engine was an absolute mystery to both girls. They looked into it and all over it, and Nicola poked it with a stick and Marie gave it a kick. It never said a word. It didn't even cough. That's what comes of being just a mass of unresponsive metal. Anything else or anyone else would have taken one glad-eyed look at the two mystified but gorgeous dollies and sparked into instant life.

We certainly would.

Well, we would have if it hadn’t been for our aching back.

Alison Aitken

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Nine-To-Five

In an extremely unpretentious way ALISON AITKEN is a staunch supporter of society, and considers its advantages more than outweigh its shortcomings.

"You have to live, you have to make your way in life,” she says, "and how can you do that if you loaf around and do nothing but moan about how you can't stand the pressures? You contribute what you can to life by doing a job of work.

It may be only a comparatively unimportant job, but it's something you can get on with."

Alison is a shorthand-typist and works from nine till five quite happily. She likes being a pin-up girl when she can find time to pose for the camera, and thinks it's lots of giggles and fun.

Alison is lots of fun herself.

Carol Gaye

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Haytime

Down in the wilds of Wiltshire it was all golden with hay, and shop assistant CAROL GAYE took the week-end off to help a farmer friend get everything nice and tidy.

There was hay everywhere, and after carting armfuls of it into the barn to make a tidy pile, Carol got warm enough to shed a garment or two. That was when the feller with the camera appeared. They always do on such occasions. He took some enchanting photographs of the hay and even more enchanting ones of Carol.

Toni Finch

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Fringe Benefits

Well, there's one thing about a bra where the accent is on the fringe, it does make for a very artistic finish to a portrait.

Especially a portrait of TONI FINCH, a housewife of Kent.

Don't all rush round offering to paint her because you want to hang her at the spring exhibition, it sounds a bit berserk. Toni's husband does all the painting.

There are fringe benefits in being Toni's better half.

He can get Toni to sit for him every evening and Sundays as well.

Susan Clegg

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Any Sugar, Honey?

Any girl who works as a grocery assistant is worth knowing in this day of mixed-up priorities.

It's this shortage of sugar. Actually, if we all took only half our usual quota we wouldn't be doing ourselves anything but a favour. Still, habits are habits, and what you've always had you'll always want.

So if you know SUSAN CLEGG, just be nice to her. Susan is a grocery assistant in a Yorkshire village and keeps a very fair and impartial eye on the sugar stocks. But to get away from it all she's just taken up modelling, since she's got a lovely pair of legs and doesn't think they ought to be hidden behind counters all the time.

What a nice, thoughtful glamour girl.

Britt Hampshire

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Pin Up

Long time in the business is pin-up. It can be phrased differently from time to time, but pin-up is the original and the best. It's a picture of a lovely girl looking utterly glam, and is for pinning-up where you can see it to its best advantage. One lovely girl who makes a classical pin-up is BRITT HAMPSHIRE.

Christina Bartsch

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Student Swinger

Outside the campus, where there was a satisfactory amount of rustic quiet and the student demo had packed up for tea, CHRISTINA BARTSCH celebrated her victorious exam results in swinging exhilaration.

With her maxi going all ways, much to the delight of a wandering minstrel who was looking for a place to unpack his sandwiches and his guitar, Christina was like feminine poetry in frilly motion.

The wandering minstrel stopped wandering. He sat down on a grassy hillock and played one of his own compositions, which sounded a bit like he'd pinched it from a gypsy cantata. Still, the rhythm was just right for our swinging student and it all looked like a lovely Can-Can in Arcadia.

Christina wants to be a research scientist.

You'd never think so to look at her. She's far too lovely to hide herself away in a land-locked laboratory.