You Could Have Fooled Fred
"Now this is a part of London noted for its hilly position and its vistas," said the guide, "and there for instance, you can see the clock tower of the Edwardian town hall—"
"Hold on," said Fred, "you could have fooled me if I'd only been listening, but I been looking as well, and that's no clock tower."
"Eyes the other way, if you please," said the guide, who was a walloping great woman who didn't like anyone not paying proper attention.
But Fred resigned from the Hampstead tour and introduced himself to a vista he much preferred to clock towers. It was London model MILLICENT DAWSON and Fred being so polite as well as raising his hat, they had a coffee together and then visited the Hampstead funfair.
Fred got stuck on the Dodgems and Millicent went off to audition for a commercial in Barbados. While Fred was still going round and round Millicent won through.
Oh, Happy Days
Out in the country, whizzing around in a fast car and all that. Happy days. Very happy for JAN LLOYD, 23-year-old English housewife with a zest for zingy fresh air and brief minis. As well as being a housewife she's a short -hand typist and lives in Havant, Hampshire.
Would you believe it? Jan and her husband are engaged with a do-it-your-self building group in the erection of their own house. Jan looks lovely at week-ends when she's mixing cement, laying bricks and climbing ladders. Naturally, she looks particularly lovely on the latter. And she's quite an eyeful when she's tinkering around with her car, too.
You'll be interested to know that DONNA SHARP isn't just a pretty face. She's a Coventry girl and besides having the kind of looks at which the boys whistle a bit feverishly.
Donna is as cute as a pearl button.
A shorthand-typist with an aptitude for efficiency. Donna can also handle a Mini. A Mini being a real goer, lots of girls find them rather fast, but Donna can manage, thank you.
She's eighteen, measures 36-23-36, is mad about pop music—aren't we all in our different ways? —and while so many others are worrying about the bomb. Donna is finding life can be fun.
If your girlfriend is the kind who's always agitating you into joining demonstrations, why not swop her with somebody else's dolly and have fun yourself?
Natural golden blonde is ELAINE TAYLOR and you remember that story about the three bears, of course? You know, how Goldilocks went and ate up their porridge?
Elaine doesn’t eat porridge and she doesn’t actually know any bears— not by name, anyway— but if they ever made a film about it, she’d walk the audition.
Some berk is bound to hop in here with the comment that Goldilocks was only a little girl.
In which case, he’d be a completely hopeless berk if he couldn’t see a grown-up Goldilocks would be an absolute whizz.
Elaine lives in Cardiff, and when the Welsh are independent perhaps they’ll put Elaine on their standards instead of the dragon. Then we’d all fly a Welsh standard.
It was a lovely day, and even lovelier when Chumley pulled up beside the ravishing blonde.
"Ah, having a review of the works, what?” he said.
"I've already done that.” said AMANDA JANSEN, "and now I'm looking for the whatsisname to prop the car up."
"Got a flat, eh?" said Chumley.
"I beg your pardon?" said Amanda, who was proud of her 36-23-36 framework.
"Flat tyre." said Chumley.
"I hope you’re not going to get all mechanical.” said Amanda, ”I just thought I’d prop the whole thing up and then see what happens."
"Good idea,” said Chumley.
"Well, aren't you going to help me? Are you going to just sit there and look?” said Amanda.
"Sitting here and just looking,” said Chumley. "is my idea of a really lovely day.”
"You saucy devil," said Amanda and conked him with the whatsisname.
Amanda is a London model and you can see her swinging around the place and bringing stars to the eyes of high-powered diplomats carrying brief cases.
What a life. All hot sun, green links and a perishing little white ball. Right, thought BARBARA WELSH, this is it, then. I did a 94 on the first hole last week, and if I can take eighteen putts today instead of twenty I'll do a 92.
And with that she hauled her clubs out of the car boot and went and attacked everything in sight — tees, bunkers, natural hazards and that perishing little white ball. In her mini she looked a marvel.
Barbara has never been a girl to let anything beat her, although there was one time when she got wrapped around by a wayward garden hose and flung into the asparagus bed.
She isn't going to let the frustrations of golf mess her about. But she could improve her grip a bit. For a right-handed girl she's got the most complicated left-handed grip.
This is Barbara lining up her putt. Why don't more girls in minis play golf?
Because, said Barbara, that perishing little white ball makes all girls want to scream.
Incidentally, she's eighteen and an ex-Tiller girl, and even if her golf could be improved, she still looks a lovely marvel at the game.
That's A Good Girl
Some girls would either sit around polishing their nails or even disappear behind the door when the family car required cleaning.
Other girls are good girls and don't mind helping at all. as long as dad doesn't ask them just as they're getting dressed for a garden party. ANNE SCOTT is happy to keep the car looking pristine, then she can always put in a request to borrow it without shuffling her feet around.
Polishing can be warm work, and if that means discarding an item or two it all goes to show what a lovely girl she is as well as a good one.
It seems from what the fashion pundits say that the era of exquisite feminine lingerie has gone with all the other dated items of yesterday. It's just going to be stretch tights forever from now on, so they say. Even bras are going out. The fashion pundits are always far more interested in selling themselves than in making us happy.
We're not like that. We want to make you happy this month by bringing to your dreamy eyes the look that graced the fashions of yesterday, and ANNE SCOTT in the lingerie that used to make all the advertisements on the underground look so alluring is quite irresistible, don't you think?
If you prefer stretch tights and a body stocking, you're so modern that there's nothing we can do for you.
Anne is a deliciously photogenic Scot from Glasgow.
She looks happy.
Are you happy too now?