Susanne Berger

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In The Classical Mould

If you’re thinking of a classically typical German girl, then you’ve probably got your mind on a blue-eyed blonde.

Built very attractively in this classical mould is West Berlin secretary SUSANNE BERGER. You might also have a weakness for a dark-haired, flashing-eyed Italian girl, in which case your weakness embraces the best Europe can offer.

We can’t give you Susanne’s telephone number, but anytime you’re going to West Berlin you know what to look for. Golden hair, deep blue eyes and a lovely way of getting into a taxi. So, keep your eyes open for taxis and watch the fares and you never know your luck. Carry a bunch of flowers as Susanne dotes on bouquets.

But mind you don’t get a punch in the eye from her boyfriend. He’s got biceps of iron

Dawn Williams

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When It’s Warm

Did you read what that lady feature writer said about our girls during our last heat-wave? She said that when it’s warm we suddenly become a nation of strippers on the female side. Juxta-positioned with her article was an announcement that when the weather’s warm our influx of tourists goes up umpteen per cent.

There’s a rapid conclusion to be drawn.

It must all be to do with lovely girls like DAWN WILLIAMS, for when it got very warm Dawn felt she just didn’t need a topcoat. Picture of a sudden increase in our influx of tourists popping quickly through the customs to see Dawn without her topcoat and so on.

Apart from ail the trivial side issues connected with weather, Dawn is a secretary who lives in London.

Tracy Collins

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The Next Look

Wanting to anticipate the next look in way-out fashions, TRACY COLLINS opted for stripes worn with careless abandon, pink lace panties and black nylons.

Tracy, constantly seen around Chelsea where she shares an artistic pad with other working girls, isn't going to be left looking dead old-fashioned in a blanket style poncho when fashion hits a new trend. She wants to be first with the next look.

Tell you what, we go for those undone stripes.

With what clinical appraisal one can sum up their market potential. Swinging all the way.

June Gordon

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Kilted Pin-Up

You can wear a pencil-line suit and carry a handbag to match your shoes, and be a girl from almost any Western country. You can wear a pair of casuals and a tan sports shirt and be a man from London or Birmingham or Washington or anywhere.

But wear a kilt and you can only be from Scotland. And wear a kilt as JUNE GORDON wears it and you’re a lovely, leggy pin-up—if you’re June Gordon. June is a secretary, loves the open-air, thinks Scottish men virile and irresistible and is pretty irresistible herself.

She’s just our idea of the girl we’d most like to get lost in the heather with.

Maria Assin

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Bunny Girl

You don’t have to dress up in one of those bunny outfits with a pom-pom tail to be a bunny girl, you only need to be fond of rabbits.

You keep them in a nice dry hutch and feed them lettuce. MARIA ASSIN was out the other day looking for some cute baby bunnies to take home, and as we were out looking for conkers we bumped heads with her round a tree.

“What I don’t understand,’’ said Maria as she posed for us, “is why you need a camera when you’re looking for conkers.”

“Well, we snap them first to see if they’re photogenic.”

“I’ve never heard of photogenic conkers,” said Maria.

“They’re the ones that come out well in close-up.”

“I hope you know what you’re talking about,” said Maria.

Cute girl, Maria. She’s a charge clerk, nineteen years old, with statistics of 36 "-24 "-36".

Helena Borland

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Dutch Treat

No, nothing to do with making your girlfriend pay for her own cinema seat—how could you, in fact, and her only making 18 quid a week as a secretary? for this treat from Holland is HELENA BORLAND, short story writer, linguistic and lovely.

Anne Duke

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Aristocratic Cobblers

Cobblers means codswallop. Codswallop means my eye and Betty Martin. Or drivel. What it all boils down to is that it’s a lot of jazz and junk to imply being aristocratic is indivisible from a pink hat and an Ascot sunshade.

For us ANNE DUKE looks aristocratic all over. Elegant, bewitching and self-assured. Maybe self-designated aristocrats have a butler to help them over a gate to ensure they don’t have trouble with their skirts, but you can’t say an elegant, bewitching and self-assured look doesn’t have an aristocratic aura to it—even when there’s a gate trying to sabotage the elegance.

Anne is Welsh. We don’t know if she can sing but she isn’t half lovely to look at. The man who lives round the next corner to her has gone off his cornflakes and gone on to carrots. He wants to sharpen up his eyesight. “What for?” asked his wife. “Oh, just to make sure I won’t miss anything,” he said.

“What’s anything?” she said. “Oh, you know, birds and flying saucers,” he said.

Pamela Beeston

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Something to Sing About

WELL, if you’re as pretty as PAMELA BEESTON, with the best years of your life still in front of you, you’d sing too, wouldn’t you?

Pamela is a shorthand-typist of Co. Durham, whose current hobbies are dancing and pop music, and these, together with her charm, her attractiveness and her statistics of 36-24-36 make her just about as representative of today’s modern girl as she could be.

The young senoritas of Spain or the chic young madams of France have nothing-absolutely nothing-on ours. Pamela’s pretty proof of that!

Shirley Holden

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Shirley Forgot the Sugar

Scots girl SHIRLEY HOLDEN loves cars and also has a weakness for horses, carrying lumps of sugar around for all the noble nags in the neighbourhood. We regret that on this occasion she forgot, which is why we had to concentrate on Shirley and not the gee-gees.

Deborah Stephens

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Seven-Minute Itch

There was nothing but sunshine and perfect peace around when DEBORAH STEPHENS first sat down to her picnic. They say that after seven years even the best of husbands (or wives) are inclined to get an itch, but only seven short minutes had gone by on this occasion when an itch attacked our Debbie.

She’d just got herself comfortably settled on her tummy— without lying on the strawberry jam sandwiches—when she found herself idly scratching her leg. Debbie has a very nice leg, but she doesn’t often also have an itch.

Initially, let’s face it, she wasn’t all that bothered. She was, in fact, scratching her leg fairly absent-mindedly, until quite suddenly the cause of the itch actually bit her.

“Help!” yelled Debbie. “It’s ants with long fangs!”

No help in the form of, say, an anteater being around at the time, Debbie panicked and dived headfirst under the picnic tablecloth, where she waved two shapely legs very wildly in the air—until a sense of dignity overcame a sense of flustered retreat. Whereupon Debbie sat up. Who won the day, Debbie or the ants?

“I won,” said Debbie, “I’m sitting on them, and if every ant isn’t as flat as a pancake then my eight stone two pounds counts for absolutely nothing.”

Susan Douglas

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Boots for Susan

You can’t beat a pair of thigh-length boots if you want to be looked at this year. They’re in, you know. SUSAN DOUGLAS had to have a pair and be as swinging as the other girls. You can have a hat or a jerkin or a bolero top, but you’re not swinging unless you’ve got boots as well.

Smashing.

Ann Jameson

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Mini Motif

Paris may have decreed that hemlines will become longer and longer, but gay leggy girls like ANN JAMESON, London fashion model, are going to fight that decree on a blow-by-blow basis.

The first blow Ann struck was to turn out in her itsy-bitsy mini, which was just about the briefest in town.

It was so brief that Mr. Jarvis Parkinson thought she was wearing a long-sleeved blouse and had forgotten her skirt. With the faintest tinge of embarrassment, he drew Ann aside and said. "Er-pardon me, Miss er-urn-’’

"I'm not Miss Er-Um," said Ann, “I'm Miss Jameson."

"Well-um-pardon me. Miss Jameson, but I wondered-er-if you knew-well, um-the fact is- “

"You’re very kind," said Ann. "but what I don't know I don’t worry about. Ignorance is sweet bliss, isn’t it?"

“Your wonderful, “said Mr Parkinson, “and I just hate having to leave you. but I’ve got a train to catch."

Beautiful Britons No 167 – October 1967

Barbara Valentin

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Continental Chat

One way of spending a couple of chatty Hours with your girlfriend is to ring her up and let her pursue her natural talent for making a phone conversation last all day.

It’s even more like that on the Continent. The Continentals being naturally loquacious it’s asking for trouble to phone them when you’re in a hurry.

There was that nice feller Arnold, whose speciality was buying old electric kettles from gullible housewives and turning them into steam irons for the price of a new tweed suit. They never worked, of course, but he had such a way with him that no housewife ever complained. Anyway, he met an absolutely beautiful damsel called BARBARA VALENTIN when he was on the Continent.

When he got back to London he rang her up to ask her if he could see her in Cannes later that year. After listening to her answer, which was all in lovely lilting Latin and took two hours to deliver, Arnold managed to get a word in.

“What was that you said?” he asked numbly.

“Oui,” replied Barbara, and then in fascinating English she added, “And please, zat steam kettle you sell me, it do not work, no, never, it only spits hot water at me.”

“Oh?” said Arnold embarrassedly.

“Please,” said Barbara, “you send me back my money or I knock your big head off and queeck.”

Shirley Campbell

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Pressing Business

It’s Friday night and SHIRLEY CAMPBELL has got a date and it’s just occurred to her what a giggle it all is. Well, there she is engaged in the pressing business of ironing her smalls and there he is, already waiting on the corner and wondering what’s keeping her. Shirley’s giggling at the idea of inviting him up to help her out with the ironing.

The trouble is when you’re in a hurry everything goes wrong, and those collapsible ironing tables are all too collapsible, and then the phone rings, and the doorbell buzzes and you can’t get your foot out of the under-structure. Never mind, the girls of Glasgow always come up smiling, even under circumstances like these, and Shirley is no less a typical Glaswegian than all the other cute lasses.

Sue Halsey

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Have You Seen Our Park?

It’s worth a look, and so is SUE HALSEY.

Of course, not everybody gets the grand tour conducted by Sue. Not everybody’s that lucky. And those whom Sue has shown around have usually been unable to remember a thing about the Park. They’ve been too busy looking at Sue.

They’ve been too busy remembering how pretty Sue looked perched on that park bench. You too?