Jenny Piece

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Smitten By A Sec

Fred was just holding a horse while Joe went to fetch a saddle when JENNY PIECE of Worcester came through the gate. Fred felt as if he'd been struck by lightning, and if he hadn't been holding onto the horse he'd have fallen down.

Jenny, a secretary, was wearing polished boots, brief mini and a devastatingly floppy hat. She asked Fred if he had a spare horse around.

"Believe me," said Fred hoarsely, "you only need to ask, and you can have the whole string.” "What are you all flushed about?" asked Jenny, looking traumatically bewitching under her hat. "It's not hot, is it?"

"Don't let's talk about me,' said Fred faintly, "let's find you a spare horse and then we can have a long chat about your phone number. Of course, if you're going riding, I'll come with you, I'll just fade away if I don't."

"No, I'm not going riding," said Jenny, "I just happen to have a lump of sugar and if you've got a spare horse that's not doing anything can i feed him.' So, she did, but the place has never been the same for Fred since she left.

Span No 176 - April 1969

Susan Douglas

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Who's gotta horse

Girl who's got a whip but no horse at all is SUSAN DOUGLAS. Could some kind owner lend her a nag and a pair of photogenic jodhpurs? Susan tore her own jodhpurs? at a point-to-point.

Span No 125 - January 1965

Suzy Henshaw

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Suzy

SUZY HENSHAW is from Pontypridd and is rather delicious. She likes climbing and horse-riding, and is corkingly shapely at 39"-23"-36". She makes a lovely bikini belle too.

Beautiful Britons No 166 - September 1969

Cathy Winslow

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Glamour In Law

When Mr. Bakewell Pursglove shot into the solicitor's office he was in a frenzy of irritation and very loud of voice.

“I want me rights, I want protection,” he roared, "that blue-bottomed monkey from next door has eaten all me flaming raspberries again."

'Oh, how distressing," said a soft, calm voice, “please take a seat, sir, and I’ll see if our Mr. Henry is free.”

The next thing Mr. Bakewell Pursglove knew was that a vision of warm-eyed enchantment was guiding him into a chair.

"Who are you?" he asked faintly.

The vision introduced herself as CATHY WINSLOW, an invaluable asset in any solicitor's office.

"Well never mind Mr. Henry or whatever his name is," said the infatuated Bakewell, "you'll do for me, darling. It's this perishing jungle creature they keep next door. Every year it sneaks over the fence and eats all me juiciest raspberries. Now what I want done.” And he went on about some kind of complicated civil action and in between managed to invite Cathy round to see his cucumber plants.

In return Cathy managed to pass him over to the senior partner and Bakewell wondered where all the enchantment of the place had gone.

Spick No 211 - June 1971

Janet de Bollet

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Fashion War Communique

Communique No. 47A issued from Modern Gear G.H.Q to Hotpants Division read:

"Instruct Elsie Golightly to advance on Leicester and Nottingham, enemy bombardment of maxi skirts and velvet knickers blanketing both towns and smothering inhabitants. Liberate them."

It was signed by General A. Geary.

Reply from the Hotpants Division was as follows.

"Elsie Golightly gone over to the enemy and velvet knickers. Suggest we send JANET DE BOLLET instead. Janet will slay them. Photographs enclosed as proof." To which Modern Gear G.H.Q replied with communique No. 47B.

"Instruct Janet de Bollet to report here immediately. Where have you been hiding her? Champagne will be uncorked at 19.30, candlelight will commence at 19.45." It was signed Bert.

Spick No 211 - June 1971

Maria Lynley

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Don't Ring Off

The phone rang and MARIA LYNLEY answered it.

"Hello," she said, "who's that?"

"It's me," said Harry.

"Who's you?" said Maria.

"Harry," said Harry.

"Is it about the telly?" said Maria.

“I haven't got one," said Harry, "I keep chickens. Can you come out tonight?"

“I'll ask my husband," said Maria, a lovely young Leicester housewife.

"Oh sock me," said Harry, "isn't that Ethel?"

"No, it isn't," said Maria, "it's me."

"Who's you?" said Harry.

"Maria," said Maria, "goodbye, Harry."

"No, don't ring off," said Harry, "you don't half sound cracking."

"Saucebox," giggled Maria and put the phone down.

Beautiful Britons No - 182 January 1971

Sylvia Ternes

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A Nut For Nikki

Captivating young thing in a park in West Berlin is Nikki the squirrel-and so, for that matter, is Nikki's favourite stroller, SYLVIA TERNES. Nikki being somewhat temperamental, he won't take any food unless you go down on your knees to him, and though this makes it somewhat awkward for a girl in a tight skirt, Sylvia humours the little devil - otherwise he follows her home, nipping at her ankles all the way.

Span No 127 - March 1965

Ruth Cavendish and Anne Scott

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Anyone Seen a Horse

RUTH CAVENDISH and ANNE SCOTT have nothing against cars except the fact that they're full of things like distributors, plugs, tappets, cylinders and knocks. When they broke down on their way to Edinburgh, that was it no more cars. The girls sat down and waited for a spare gee-gee to happen along.

Not only do Ruth and Anne not believe in leaving a broken-down car to thumb lifts in vehicles even more likely to break down, they are by nature much more addicted to the faithfulness of horses than to the mechanics of motoring.

And horses know, you know. These two do, anyway. Robert and Wallace. Just the hint of a pretty girl stranded by a blown gasket and there they are, the noble nags, to take the weight off their sweet feet. And the fact is, friends, Wallace has an eye for a pretty knee and no error.

Jackie Burdette

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Jackie's In Town

"Where are you going to, my pretty maid?"

"I'm not going anywhere," said JACKIE BURDETTE, "I've only just arrived. Are you a policeman?"

“As a matter of fact, no. I'm"

“Then if you're not a policeman, take your foot out of my doorway."

"I'm selling ceiling sweepers”.

"Who wants ceiling sweepers?" said Jackie. "I don't. I'm a shirt designer and you've interrupted me in the middle of the most inspiring design I've ever thought up. What's that little stepladder you're carrying?”

"Ah well, you see, with our ceiling sweepers we offer these mini step ladders at the most fantastically ludicrous price. Practically giveaway, in fact. I say, you're not making tea, I suppose?"

"No. I’m not said Jackie. "What's the connection between ridiculous little stepladders and ceiling sweepers?"

"Well, you need the stepladder to reach the ceiling. We design them specially to give that extra bewitching look to girls using the ceiling sweepers in mini-skirts."

"These boots I'm wearing," said Jackie, "are specially made to assist the precipitate departure of men selling ceiling sweepers”.

"Don't do anything hasty I'll come back tomorrow."

Spick No 179 - October 1968

Catherine Brydon

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Toboggan Run

With all that snow lying around on the slopes of the Highlands, Scottish housewife CATHERINE BRYDON didn't want to waste any of it. Feeling a bit exhilarated on account of having bought some fur-lined bargains at the winter sales, Catherine found her toboggan and took it for a run.

She looked lovely amid all that snow.

She went whooshing down the slopes and skidding round the curves. She fell off once or twice, much to the aesthetic satisfaction of a fellow tobogganist who was waiting to pick her up. He was a connoisseur of shapely limbs, and he hadn't seen any as aesthetically admirable as Catherine's since last winter, when his girlfriend fell headfirst into a snow drift.

"Don't miss anything, will you?" said Catherine.

"Not if can help it," said he.

Beautiful Britons No 207 - February 1973

Amanda Paget

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Where Does She Get Her Nerve?

If we say that looking at these simply fabulous pictures of Amanda Paget gives us nightmares, please don't get us wrong. Do you ever have the kind of horrible dream where you're out in the street somewhere, and suddenly realise you're in pyjamas? Or half naked? Or even completely stark naked?! Mustang's resident psychologist assures us such dreams are common, but when we asked him what they meant he just gave a sly chuckle but to get back to the subject, namely Amanda, it strikes us that she's posing there in what can only be the top half of a trouser suit. Standing in the street, half naked, looking debonaire, unconcerned and adorable. Where does she get her nerve? Where did she lose her trousers? It's more than enough to give you nightmares.

When we asked her about the trousers, she tried to pretend that what she's wearing is a micro-micro mini-dress, and not a trouser suit top at all. But she can't fool us. Maybe she was out late and had no money, had to sell something to get the bus fare home. But no, that's absurd, a girl like Amanda wouldn't travel by bus, she would have rich young men escorting her, with large comfy cars. So perhaps she fell in a lake, had to take her trousers off to dry them? Maybe-but no, there's no sign of even any wet trousers. Well, if there were alligators in the lake, she could have thrown the trousers to the alligators, to distract their attention while she swam for shore. Oh, but that's ridiculous-even a lowly alligator would need more than an old bit of cloth to take his mind off such a tasty dish as Amanda. We found out, later. It was simpler than we'd imagined. Amanda was posing in only half her trouser suit because our photographer thought it looked better that way. To which we say, why aren't there more lovely girls around who share our photographer's ideas!

Mustang No 9 - 1969

Ruth Cavendish

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Ruth Cavendish and Mugdock Tower

Ruth Cavendish modelled for an outdoor set, with pictures appearing in Beautiful Britons No 101 (March 1964) and Spick and Span Extra No 11 (Summer 1964).

The tower, or castle as ToCo describe it, has always been a bit of a mystery until now.

Thanks so much to David for taking the time to research this and bring it to our attention.

Mugdock Tower is in Mugdock Country Park, which is north of Bearsden.

This picture of the tower was taken in about 1976, so a few years after Ruth had had her fun there, but there is no mistaking her positioning against the tower, with the same tree in the background. It is of course very probable that this quiet country park was used for a great many other ToCo outdoor sets.

It has been suggested that a blue plaque would be warranted on this tower.

Tower grid ref (55° 57' 49" N 4° 18' 58" W)

This is the ToCo blurb that accompanied the set in Spick and Span Extra No 11

Glamour With a Smile

Never without a smile is RUTH CAVENDISH, who makes as attractive a picture against the old castle walls as any suit of armour, with or without visor.

Ann Williams

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Ann Williams

You can have white elephants, old bus tickets, a blown tile off Admiralty House and even a feather off an Ascot hat. But you can only have your own face, you can’t have someone else's. If your eyes are bloodshot, you’re stuck with them, it’s no good wishing you had beautifully clear blue orbs like ANN WILLIAMS has. Ann is Ann and you are you, and Ann is a cute, pretty picture on all counts and you’re not.

If you’re prepared to face facts, there’s always a chance for you. Speaking of chances, when Ann can get her skirt unhooked and rush off to an audition it’s possible one more vocal star will hit the pop charts. Ann has been singing since she was two and is already making a name for herself. Look out for this lovely little lady. We’re certain you’ll hear more of her.

And what you’ll hear will sound as nice on your ear as Ann herself is easy on your eye. Her statistics are 35"-22"-36" and as you can see, she has legs shapely enough to win the title of Miss Trim- Limbs.

Anne Scott

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Bom-Diddy-Bom-Bom

Well, what else can we say?

We light on a view like this in the Scottish Highlands and what else is there except wow?

This is ANNE SCOTT, television personality and just about the shapeliest model North of the Border. They may have taken the old Flying Scot out of service, but they’ll never make Anne obsolete while she still has enough puff.

Puff? Well, all right, glamour.

You're stuck for conversation as you bump into her. You’re speechless.

You feel like a gormless goggler. All you can say is Bom-diddy-bom-bom.

That’s what we said in the first place.

Kim West

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Which Way Is West?

Well, the way KIM WEST is pointing is towards a place in the top ten glamour models of London. Other girls can be Twiggy models, Kim wants to be a scintillating glamour girl, and the way she’s started is with vitalistics of 36 "-23 "-36". There’s a long way to get to anywhere. Kim has chosen the round way.

Spick No 172 - March 1968