Helen Milligan

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Helen Brodie (Milligan)

One for all you D.K. fans of the lovely HELEN BRODIE.

Span No 200 - April 1971

Nicole Austin

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Nicole Austin - Mustang No 8 - 1969

Mustang No 8 - 1969

Margaret Yeadon

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Haircut, Sir?

If it looks like MARGARET YEADON is fond of the bottle, it's quite misleading. They were studio bottles. Margaret was just posing for the photographer and as he's a bottle man he thought what a background and a foreground, just the flaming ticket, darling.

Margaret is twenty-two, she lives in Leeds, and she has her own men's hairdressing salon. She likes looking after men's styles, and the styles being so way out these days, Margaret can exercise ingenuity, skill and inventiveness. Actually, a haircut isn't on. If you have one you're dead old-fashioned. You have it styled.

And when Margaret isn't styling heads of handsome masculine hair, she's lapping up the excitement at Hot Rod Car meetings.

Span No 212 - April 1972

Jenny Piece

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Smitten By A Sec

Fred was just holding a horse while Joe went to fetch a saddle when JENNY PIECE of Worcester came through the gate. Fred felt as if he'd been struck by lightning, and if he hadn't been holding onto the horse he'd have fallen down.

Jenny, a secretary, was wearing polished boots, brief mini and a devastatingly floppy hat. She asked Fred if he had a spare horse around.

"Believe me," said Fred hoarsely, "you only need to ask, and you can have the whole string.” "What are you all flushed about?" asked Jenny, looking traumatically bewitching under her hat. "It's not hot, is it?"

"Don't let's talk about me,' said Fred faintly, "let's find you a spare horse and then we can have a long chat about your phone number. Of course, if you're going riding, I'll come with you, I'll just fade away if I don't."

"No, I'm not going riding," said Jenny, "I just happen to have a lump of sugar and if you've got a spare horse that's not doing anything can i feed him.' So, she did, but the place has never been the same for Fred since she left.

Span No 176 - April 1969

Susan Douglas

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Who's gotta horse

Girl who's got a whip but no horse at all is SUSAN DOUGLAS. Could some kind owner lend her a nag and a pair of photogenic jodhpurs? Susan tore her own jodhpurs? at a point-to-point.

Span No 125 - January 1965

Suzy Henshaw

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Suzy

SUZY HENSHAW is from Pontypridd and is rather delicious. She likes climbing and horse-riding, and is corkingly shapely at 39"-23"-36". She makes a lovely bikini belle too.

Beautiful Britons No 166 - September 1969

Cathy Winslow

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Glamour In Law

When Mr. Bakewell Pursglove shot into the solicitor's office he was in a frenzy of irritation and very loud of voice.

“I want me rights, I want protection,” he roared, "that blue-bottomed monkey from next door has eaten all me flaming raspberries again."

'Oh, how distressing," said a soft, calm voice, “please take a seat, sir, and I’ll see if our Mr. Henry is free.”

The next thing Mr. Bakewell Pursglove knew was that a vision of warm-eyed enchantment was guiding him into a chair.

"Who are you?" he asked faintly.

The vision introduced herself as CATHY WINSLOW, an invaluable asset in any solicitor's office.

"Well never mind Mr. Henry or whatever his name is," said the infatuated Bakewell, "you'll do for me, darling. It's this perishing jungle creature they keep next door. Every year it sneaks over the fence and eats all me juiciest raspberries. Now what I want done.” And he went on about some kind of complicated civil action and in between managed to invite Cathy round to see his cucumber plants.

In return Cathy managed to pass him over to the senior partner and Bakewell wondered where all the enchantment of the place had gone.

Spick No 211 - June 1971

Janet de Bollet

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Fashion War Communique

Communique No. 47A issued from Modern Gear G.H.Q to Hotpants Division read:

"Instruct Elsie Golightly to advance on Leicester and Nottingham, enemy bombardment of maxi skirts and velvet knickers blanketing both towns and smothering inhabitants. Liberate them."

It was signed by General A. Geary.

Reply from the Hotpants Division was as follows.

"Elsie Golightly gone over to the enemy and velvet knickers. Suggest we send JANET DE BOLLET instead. Janet will slay them. Photographs enclosed as proof." To which Modern Gear G.H.Q replied with communique No. 47B.

"Instruct Janet de Bollet to report here immediately. Where have you been hiding her? Champagne will be uncorked at 19.30, candlelight will commence at 19.45." It was signed Bert.

Spick No 211 - June 1971

Maria Lynley

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Don't Ring Off

The phone rang and MARIA LYNLEY answered it.

"Hello," she said, "who's that?"

"It's me," said Harry.

"Who's you?" said Maria.

"Harry," said Harry.

"Is it about the telly?" said Maria.

“I haven't got one," said Harry, "I keep chickens. Can you come out tonight?"

“I'll ask my husband," said Maria, a lovely young Leicester housewife.

"Oh sock me," said Harry, "isn't that Ethel?"

"No, it isn't," said Maria, "it's me."

"Who's you?" said Harry.

"Maria," said Maria, "goodbye, Harry."

"No, don't ring off," said Harry, "you don't half sound cracking."

"Saucebox," giggled Maria and put the phone down.

Beautiful Britons No - 182 January 1971

Sylvia Ternes

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A Nut For Nikki

Captivating young thing in a park in West Berlin is Nikki the squirrel-and so, for that matter, is Nikki's favourite stroller, SYLVIA TERNES. Nikki being somewhat temperamental, he won't take any food unless you go down on your knees to him, and though this makes it somewhat awkward for a girl in a tight skirt, Sylvia humours the little devil - otherwise he follows her home, nipping at her ankles all the way.

Span No 127 - March 1965

Ruth Cavendish and Anne Scott

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Anyone Seen a Horse

RUTH CAVENDISH and ANNE SCOTT have nothing against cars except the fact that they're full of things like distributors, plugs, tappets, cylinders and knocks. When they broke down on their way to Edinburgh, that was it no more cars. The girls sat down and waited for a spare gee-gee to happen along.

Not only do Ruth and Anne not believe in leaving a broken-down car to thumb lifts in vehicles even more likely to break down, they are by nature much more addicted to the faithfulness of horses than to the mechanics of motoring.

And horses know, you know. These two do, anyway. Robert and Wallace. Just the hint of a pretty girl stranded by a blown gasket and there they are, the noble nags, to take the weight off their sweet feet. And the fact is, friends, Wallace has an eye for a pretty knee and no error.

Jackie Burdette

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Jackie's In Town

"Where are you going to, my pretty maid?"

"I'm not going anywhere," said JACKIE BURDETTE, "I've only just arrived. Are you a policeman?"

“As a matter of fact, no. I'm"

“Then if you're not a policeman, take your foot out of my doorway."

"I'm selling ceiling sweepers”.

"Who wants ceiling sweepers?" said Jackie. "I don't. I'm a shirt designer and you've interrupted me in the middle of the most inspiring design I've ever thought up. What's that little stepladder you're carrying?”

"Ah well, you see, with our ceiling sweepers we offer these mini step ladders at the most fantastically ludicrous price. Practically giveaway, in fact. I say, you're not making tea, I suppose?"

"No. I’m not said Jackie. "What's the connection between ridiculous little stepladders and ceiling sweepers?"

"Well, you need the stepladder to reach the ceiling. We design them specially to give that extra bewitching look to girls using the ceiling sweepers in mini-skirts."

"These boots I'm wearing," said Jackie, "are specially made to assist the precipitate departure of men selling ceiling sweepers”.

"Don't do anything hasty I'll come back tomorrow."

Spick No 179 - October 1968