Sandra Morrell

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Who Needs A Psychiatrist?

Harry thought anybody who couldn't sort out his own problems but had to take them to a psychiatrist needed to have his head examined. His friend Oliver said that was the same thing, to which Harry replied it was all of half-baked propoganda put about by blokes who had to make a living at it.

And then he met SANDRA MORRELL at a garden party, where there were lots of home-made cakes on view and a lot of home-made wine tasting going on. Harry had tested them all by the time he bumped into Sandra, who was there in her official capacity as the garden party beauty queen or something equally exotic and ravishing.

Harry almost fell down. What a doll, he thought. He took her hand and pressed unsolicited kisses on it. Then he looked into her eyes and murmured, "Come and try my cherry tart, I made it myself." "Pardon me, said Sandra," but I never eat cherry tart with men who've had too much elderberry wine."

Harry was distraught. He went to see a psychiatrist next day to try and find out why elderberry wine made him so unattractive to women.

And after six visits, all at ten guineas a time, the psychiatrist told him it was because too much elderberry wine made him lurch sideways.

Spick No 211 - June 1971

Dorothy Bendal and Kay Bendall

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Dot and Dash

Housewife DOROTHY BENDALL is Dot to all her friends. Dot is happy, lively and fun, but all the dash around the house comes from her daughter KAY. She's helter-skelter youth while Dot is jolly Mum.

They're more like sisters, actually. They go to dances together and run for a bus together. They live in Hampshire and make every day full of fun and giggles.

Joanna Young

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Also A Lovely Cook

Not only is JOANNA YOUNG an attractive housewife and a mother of four little girls, she's also an enthusiastic water-skier.

And that's not all.

She's also a lovely cook.

How do you do it, Joanna?

"Well, you take a bag of flour, a dozen eggs-" No, don't be comical. How do you find the time and the enthusiasm?

"Well, my husband has this big whip, you see-"

No, be serious.

"It just comes naturally. was born a genius." You were born beautiful, that's what. Good on you, darling.

"Don't be so familiar."

Can't help it. You're lovely.

In fact, Joanna isn't just lovely, she looks like the spirit of animated feminity when she's out on her favorite country ramble.

Span No 198 - February 1971

Elenor Noyes

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Sunshine Trip

Looking forward to an early spring trip to the sunshine of the Canaries is ELEANOR NOYES.

Looking forward to seeing her arrive are the masculine bravos, and it won't be their fault if Eleanor doesn't enjoy herself. The trouble is, said Eleanor, they're so enthusiastic about blondes and what can you do with twelve escorts every time you venture out?

Try pushing them off the edge of the swimming pool, love.

Spick & Span Extra No 50 - Spring 1974

Marie Graham and Nicola Taylor

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Having Trouble

We've lately been following MARIE GRAHAM and NICOLA TAYLOR around. So would any man who had an appreciative eye for gorgeous legs and briefest mini-skirts, but that's not to say you wouldn't make it up to your wife by taking her home a dazzling bouquet of roses.

We found Marie and Nicola having trouble with their car.

"Great skyhooks," said Nicola, the one in the rugby league jersey, "talk about modern technology when you have to tow the thing home. I don't know what my husband will say.

Marie said she knew what hers would say. "Where's my tea and muffins ?”

The engine was an absolute mystery to both girls. They looked into it and all over it, and Nicola poked it with a stick and Marie gave it a kick. It never said a word. It didn't even cough. That's what comes of being just a mass of unresponsive metal. Anything else or anyone else would have taken one glad-eyed look at the two mystified but gorgeous dollies and sparked into instant life.

We certainly would.

Well, we would have if it hadn’t been for our aching back.

Marie Graham

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Getting To Know You

Climbing high in the pin-up poll is secretary MARIE GRAHAM.

Established as one of our favourite models, all her fans say it's been ecstatic getting to know her.

Marie lives in Hampshire, is a delectable housewife who still looks as gorgeous as the most geary dolly girls, and her main interests, apart from the man she loves, are go-go dancing, motoring and mountaineering.

If she ever gets to the top of Everest, she isn't half going to look picturesque high in the sky, and all the Sherpas will want to invite her home to tea.

Tina Reynolds

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Much More

New model TINA REYNOLDS is a girl we recently found. She wasn't actually lost, of course. Ours was merely an inspired discovery of her as a pin-up. The reaction of readers has been what you'd expect when you've been in the glamour business as long as we have.

They want to see more of Tina. Much more.

Well, if she doesn't go off to the West Indies to help sell coconuts on the telly, we'll see what we can do.

Samantha Grey

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London Light

Cities are full of lights, those which illuminate the darkness and those which illuminate life.

A very scintillating London light is SAMANTHA GREY, and if you walked all the way from Edinburgh to see her it would be well worthwhile. All that exercise and a round of applause from Samantha at the end.

Samantha has a comfy bed-sit near St. Johns Wood and the milkman doesn't at all mind climbing three flights of stairs to deliver her daily pint. He always knocks so that he can hand it to her in person. Sometimes Samantha isn't quite dressed, like.

He doesn't mind that, either.

From You To Us

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Janet Barnett, Jane Baker, Alison Mahoney, Lorraine Hodges, Christine Boecher and Ilona Weichert

Letter of the Month

I am beginning to like very much the features you run on the mini-skirted girls of your country. I think they confirm all that we read and hear about the swinging scene over there and I only wish I could have a five-year holiday and spend it all with you. We do see the occasional “mini” over here, but they don’t seem to be worn with the same flair that they’re worn in London and the rest of Britain.

I think your girls have something that naturally becomes them and it’s just as if they’ve been wating for a fashion like the “mini” to show the rest of the world how exciting and swinging they really are. It must be great to be part of the scene and I hope you realise how lucky you are.

J. MCCARTNEY,

Etobicoke, Toronto, Canada.

Our girls will love you.

Bridie Goodwin

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Bird in the Country

One thing that's rather inspiring about birds is that you find them in the country as well as the towns.

One extremely lovely and ubiquitous bird is BRIDIE GOODWIN, who flits from town to country all the time. Well, Bridie works in a county town, so she can't avoid her share of the concrete, but at weekends she's almost always to be found communing with the rural outdoors.

Slim, trim and fetching at 35-23-36, Bridie is the pin-up of all the farmers' boys for miles around. The farmers themselves would like to see more of her only their wives won't let them.

Anna Reingold

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Continental Sightseer

A girl who likes travel is ANNA REINGOLD. She's been all over the place. If that sounds untidy it's not Anna's fault, it's ours.

A Continental herself, she's wandered around most of the European countries and seen the sights in most of the capitals. Now she's in England, and not just to have a look at London but at the countryside as well.

She likes to lose herself in villages and hamlets. Farmers' sons like it too, it gives them an opportunity to be helpful and follow up with an invitation to show Anna round the dairy. One young spark asked her if she'd like to help with the milking as the electrical contraption had broken down. Anna was willing but a mere beginner. The cow got huffy and went off in a sulk. But it was great fun for Anna.

Elaine Masters

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Focus On A Dolly

A dolly is a bird both young and endearing.

Like ELAINE MASTERS.

Age, eighteen. Measurements, 36-23-35. Elevation, five feet five. Sum total, enchantment.

Interests, good books, pop music, Spain, France and London. Work, salesgirl. Ambitions, oh just a sports car and a horse. Spare time hobby, being a pin-up girl.

Effect, she makes this mixed-up world look as if it's got a future, after all.

Laura St.John

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Go Chase The Fox

The Madwick Hunt was in full cry after the red fox. The hounds swept by, followed by the riders.

No one took any notice of LAURA ST. JOHN except about ten men, most of whom nearly fell off their horses as they pulled up in stunned delight. But up popped a good-looking sailor who had either lost his ship or didn't know where the sea was.

“I saw her first," he said to the horsemen, "you lot go chase the fox, he went that way."

They all raised their headgear politely and went on their way, and the sailor had a chat with lovely Laura and then showed her over his ship, which he remembered he'd left lying around in Portsmouth Harbour. But Laura couldn't stay for a sailor's supper as she had to get home to hubby.

Laura is twenty three and is curvily tailored at 36-23-36. She fits a polka-dot bikini beautifully.

She doesn't look bad in a mini, either, does she? Her favourite sport is swimming. She lives on the South Coast and during the summer months takes full advantage of the sea.

Greta Berry

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How's Your Filing System?

If you're suffering from a surfeit of monumental ineptitude on the part of the erk who looks after your filing system, try giving him or her a monumental talking to.

It probably won't do any good as he or she is almost certain to be only there for the money. It's better to make a clean break before the whole office assumes the look of a paper mill in eruption.

"That's it, then, Perkins my girl, you can take a week's notice from today".

"Oh sir, but why?"

"Because you're useless, girl, useless."

"What d’you want for twelve pounds a week, then, a computer?"

It's shriekingly unbearable when they're not only useless but saucy as well. Your best bet is to look around for someone like GRETA BERRY. Greta is a lovely office clerk who brings efficiency to the scene, to say nothing of charm. She's a twenty-year-old dolly with the longest, loveliest legs that get her around the office like a flowing dream.

Dianne Lloyd

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Country Style

If you live in the country, as DIANNE LLOYD does, you have to have a country style. Which means that you have your own way of climbing gates and fences.

Town birds wait for someone to come along and open a locked gate, or they give up and go home. Dianne scales a gate with verve and lovely legs, and for the information of those who didn't pay attention in school, verve means a spot of dashing elan.

Dianne, a secretary, lives near the New Forest. That's where Rufus, son of William the Conqueror was accidentally killed while hunting, and a stone marks the spot. Dianne herself nearly got bagged by a deerstalker once. She interrupted his apologies by asking him how on earth he could mistake her for a deer.

"As a matter of fact," he said, "you look an absolute darling. Could we have tea together?"

Those deerstalkers need watching all the time.