Carolyn Rose

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I Don't Hang About

What's all this, then? Who's taking upside-down photographs? Find the feller and fire him. He must be drinking the strong stuff.

It's not what? Not upside-down? Eh? Oh. Well, who is it who's doing it? It's not Tarzan's glamorous jungle mate, is it? If it is, throw Tarzan to the elephants and send his mate to us.

Oh, all right, it's nothing like that at all. It's just CAROLYN ROSE of Bristol showing that when it comes to woodland gymnastics it's not those Olympic girls who've got all the talent.

Carolyn does judo as well and is currently attending evening classes in Bristol to learn how to sail a kitchen table round the world. Marvellous. Incredible.

Lovely. Lots of mothers have the most fabulous daughters, and Carolyn's mother is just famously proud of hers. Well, how many girls do you know who can swing upside-down from a tree?

Spick No 193 - December 1969

Annette Ridgeway

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The Story Of My Life

It's been a series of demoralising misses, said Jack Boggletonk. To start with, as soon as I was ten, I knew there was something about girls that my parents hadn't told me about. Kind of hypnotic, they were, and the way they went tweet-tweet after Sunday School fascinated me.

I was dead gone on one called Rosie. But by the time I plucked up enough courage to ask her to my birthday party, she'd changed her religion.

Then when I was fifteen, I was mad on a cracking little blonde called Marie. Just as I was about to treat her to a seat in the cinema, up came a feller twice my size and she went home to tea with him.

And then take this stunning brunette you're looking at now. ANNETTE RIDGEWAY. Marvellous. Lovely figure, gorgeous legs and the nicest disposition. I saw her picture in a paper and after thinking about her for a month and not hardly having any sleep, I wrote her the most romantic letter I could think of.

The post office returned it, saying Miss Ridgeway had just gone to the South of France on her honeymoon, and that she was now a Mrs. Some fellers have all the luck, marrying girls like that. I don't have any luck at all.

I keep missing.

Beautiful Britons No 169 - December 1969

Look Who I Spotted

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Things are not always as they seem.

Here are two pages extracted from Stocking Parade Volume 1 No 5 (1966) Letters to the Editor. Can you spot Brenda North, Penny Baxter, Rosanne Stuart, and possibly Elizabeth Gallacher in a very familiar garage and kitchen? They were all supposedly sent in as reader pictures.

Fiona McKay

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Mini-Macs

Up in Scotland the place is full of lovely Macs.

White-booted, long-legged, mini-skirted FIONA McKAY is one of the really eye-catching residents, and if ever a mini made a Mac look like the best view in the glen, this is the one.

In Victorian and Edwardian times, the most popular Scottish pictures were all based on highland stags at bay.

Bonny dollies like Fiona have changed all that. Tourists flock over the border to photograph the Loch Ness monster and return with colour snaps of mini-Macs.

Can you think of anything nicer to show the folks back home in Arkansas?

Mini-skirts may not be the ideal garments in which to climb about, but if Fiona isn't bothered, why should you be?

If you have any girls in your office like Fiona, treat them nicely. They're valuable. They make the office look vital and vibrant, and it doesn't half impress the overseas clients.

Span No 177 - May 1969

Marilyn Ward and Pauline Gorvin

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Boutique Buy

There were these two girls, you see. One of them runs a boutique in

Bournemouth and the other one came in to buy something.

Blonde MARILYN WARD runs the boutique and the girl who came in to buy was PAULINE GORVIN. So, round the hangers they went and the conversation was something like this.

"Ah. Um. I wonder?"

"Yes, it's fab, isn't it? Try it on."

"Oh, but how about this one?"

"It goes awfully well with a coke."

"I like plum juice. Do you like plum juice?"

"I like it in a plum pie. Were you out with that boy from the travel agency last night?"

"Cheeky devil tried to sell me a ticket to Singapore. On a banana boat of all things. Oh, isn't that sweet? Is it my size?"

"Costume jewellery is all the rage with that style, you know."

"Yes, I know. I wish you didn't have such a marvellous stock; I'd like to buy so much of it, but I can't, I'm saving up to go to Spain”.

"I went there last year. Aren't those matadors slinky?"

"I can look after myself, it's those poor bulls I feel sorry for. Do you know, I really think I like this dress best."

"Honestly no, really it looks super."

"Well, I'll have it."

"But, Pauline, it's the one you were wearing when you came in.

Span No 177 - May 1969

Bridget Cole

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Bow Belle

My interest in this charming locality (said the man behind the glass of whisky) is that of a visitor agog to probe into its historical associations and to find out whether such associations have any influence on certain of its inhabitants today.

Well, seeing you been and bought me a pint (said the geezer behind the glass of bitter), I ain't going to be abductive.

I think you mean obstructive. Naturally, any co-operation you can give me I shall be excessively grateful for. Perhaps, for instance, you could tell me when the bells ring out?

Eh?

The bells of Bow. It is my desire to listen to them and define the limits of the sound. In that way I shall discover the exact area relevant to my further investigations on Cockneys.

Eh?

The bells of Bow. I want

This ain't Bow, me lord, this is the Elephant and Castle. Still, seeing you done me a favour with this pint, I'II do you one. Here's a picture of a corking bow belle. Only she wears hers in her hair. Name's BRIDGET COLE. Lives at Crawley in Sussex. Rides a lovely gee-gee. What's your name, guv?

Cedric. What's yours?

Mine's a pint. Same again, your highness.

Beautiful Britons No 153 - August 1968

Marie Fitzgerald

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Nature Is Lovely Too

People who live in concrete jungles hardly know about the beauties of nature except when they go to the Costa Brava once a year and see all the striped umbrellas and the consumable octopi.

Outside the towns nature still thrives. Inside the towns there are lovely girls to look at, and this so compensates some lovers of human beauty that they don't care if they never see another blade of grass.

MARIE FITZGERALD, a secretary, is considerably easy on the eye. Put Marie in an outdoor location and she looks even better. But what about the trees, they're lovely too, ‘aren’t they?

What trees?

Beautiful Britons No 154 - September 1968

Your Thoughts

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Are You Thinking What I Am Thinking?

Do you think this looks like someone we are all very familiar with?

Thanks for sending in these pictures. A nice set of pictures that I am sure many have not seen before.

Ute Schaeffer

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Girl in a Whirl

Oh, it was just one of those things about a contract with a titanic film company with oodles of lolly tied into it, hardly something to affect the calm of Berlin girl UTE SCHAEFFER. She merely spent the day doing bubbly cartwheels.

Span No 140 - April 1966

Susan Fairfax and Lynda Farrell

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Its Only A Game

It was going to be a jolly game of outdoor shuttlecock and all that lark. Engaged in this sporty venture were SUSAN FAIRFAX, left, and LYNDA FARRELL.

Immediately prior to the opening rally they crossed rackets, and tallyho, they were away in a fencing match, prodding each other with subtle pokes of the round end of the rackets.

"Mind my eye," cried Susan.

"Mind your eye my foot," cried Lynda, "mind my suspenders, you mean." "Voila," cried Susan, scoring a prod.

"Sacre bleu," cried Lynda, "there goes a new stocking."

The rackets clashed and the duel went on.

"How's that for a crafty one?" said Susan.

"You're tripping me, " yelled Lynda.

"Don't worry, "said Susan, "it's only a game."

It might be only a game, but poor Lynda landed with a distinct thud and at the finish there were not only bruises but a state of general disarray. Oh well, girls will be girls.