Pam Horton

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No Wonder Dad Fell In

We were living it up on one of the Norfolk Broads, although Mum said cooking beans all day was hardly her idea of life at its most ecstatic. Dad said try some bangers, then, at which mum hit him over the head with the bean ladle and said "Well, I tried one how did it feel?"

Dad didn't even know she'd hit him; he had his eyes glued to Pam Horton's Water Ski Spectacular.

“What incomparable skill," he breathed, his teeth grinding on his glass of local brew, "what verve, what execution, what a covey of utterly divine Aquamaids."

"You swine," said Mum, "you ought to be locked in the scuppers." Mum always talks like that when Dad starts reaching for his binoculars.

"Go and cook the beans," said Dad, jamming the binoculars against his glazed eyeballs. "Damn it," he added, "I can't see a thing, I'm all steamed up.' "Break your father's leg," said Mum, handing me an iron mallet.

Fortunately for my peace of mind - I'm a very sensitive child - that wasn't necessary. And no wonder.

No wonder what? No wonder Dad fell in and saved me from taking sides. As he got his binoculars focussed on the Aquamaids they came dancing over the water in a French Can-Can act and when Dad saw how absolutely delectable, they looked in close-up he crumpled at the knees and fell in. Mum leaned over the side and shouted, "How do you feel now, you old fool?"

"Blind me," murmured Dad, "it's a lovely way to go."

(Dad's impressionable mind apart, the Water Ski Spectacular is all it claims to be. On the left is PAM HORTON herself, the inspiration behind the aqua displays, and if Aquamaids are all like this you can't wonder Dad wants their autographs.)

Beautiful Britons No 135 - February 1967

Marilyn Ward

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The Much Admired Miss Ward

Finalist in all kinds of glamorous and eventful beauty competitions, Miss MARILYN WARD is the fair and shapely object of universal admiration. Those who believe in the unequivocal inspirationalism of the feminine form divine naturally know what they're talking about when they quote just how divine Miss Ward is.

And having got the dictionary of our chest and back on the bottom shelf, let's say that if you know any other girl who can look as good as Marilyn when draped in a pair of nylons, then don't let her go off to Greenland and get lost among the igloos. Tell us about her.

Marilyn, of course, is the girl who runs a Bournemouth boutique. It's a packed boutique on Saturdays. Not just with girls, you understand. There's any amount of fellers who like to chat up the fascinating manageress.

Beautiful Britons No 169 - December 1969

Helena Borland

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Back Office Beauty

I recently received these two pictures. I am unsure of their original source, but as far as I know, they did not appear in a magazine. The closest match I found is Spick No 128 (July 64) and Beautiful Britons No 92 (June 63). It is likely that they are from the same set, but Helena is slightly more undressed in these two. I have made some improvements to enhance their quality as best I can.

Carol Pepper

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The Pep In Pepper

Looking rather fetching, you must admit, in her black lingerie and boots is London advertising assistant CAROL PEPPER. A gay and uninhibited follower of fashion, Carol puts the pep in pepper. She's eighteen and on our list of girls who light up the swing scene by being brilliantly switched-on.

Spick No 193 - December 1969

Carolyn Rose

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I Don't Hang About

What's all this, then? Who's taking upside-down photographs? Find the feller and fire him. He must be drinking the strong stuff.

It's not what? Not upside-down? Eh? Oh. Well, who is it who's doing it? It's not Tarzan's glamorous jungle mate, is it? If it is, throw Tarzan to the elephants and send his mate to us.

Oh, all right, it's nothing like that at all. It's just CAROLYN ROSE of Bristol showing that when it comes to woodland gymnastics it's not those Olympic girls who've got all the talent.

Carolyn does judo as well and is currently attending evening classes in Bristol to learn how to sail a kitchen table round the world. Marvellous. Incredible.

Lovely. Lots of mothers have the most fabulous daughters, and Carolyn's mother is just famously proud of hers. Well, how many girls do you know who can swing upside-down from a tree?

Spick No 193 - December 1969

Annette Ridgeway

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The Story Of My Life

It's been a series of demoralising misses, said Jack Boggletonk. To start with, as soon as I was ten, I knew there was something about girls that my parents hadn't told me about. Kind of hypnotic, they were, and the way they went tweet-tweet after Sunday School fascinated me.

I was dead gone on one called Rosie. But by the time I plucked up enough courage to ask her to my birthday party, she'd changed her religion.

Then when I was fifteen, I was mad on a cracking little blonde called Marie. Just as I was about to treat her to a seat in the cinema, up came a feller twice my size and she went home to tea with him.

And then take this stunning brunette you're looking at now. ANNETTE RIDGEWAY. Marvellous. Lovely figure, gorgeous legs and the nicest disposition. I saw her picture in a paper and after thinking about her for a month and not hardly having any sleep, I wrote her the most romantic letter I could think of.

The post office returned it, saying Miss Ridgeway had just gone to the South of France on her honeymoon, and that she was now a Mrs. Some fellers have all the luck, marrying girls like that. I don't have any luck at all.

I keep missing.

Beautiful Britons No 169 - December 1969

Look Who I Spotted

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Things are not always as they seem.

Here are two pages extracted from Stocking Parade Volume 1 No 5 (1966) Letters to the Editor. Can you spot Brenda North, Penny Baxter, Rosanne Stuart, and possibly Elizabeth Gallacher in a very familiar garage and kitchen? They were all supposedly sent in as reader pictures.

Fiona McKay

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Mini-Macs

Up in Scotland the place is full of lovely Macs.

White-booted, long-legged, mini-skirted FIONA McKAY is one of the really eye-catching residents, and if ever a mini made a Mac look like the best view in the glen, this is the one.

In Victorian and Edwardian times, the most popular Scottish pictures were all based on highland stags at bay.

Bonny dollies like Fiona have changed all that. Tourists flock over the border to photograph the Loch Ness monster and return with colour snaps of mini-Macs.

Can you think of anything nicer to show the folks back home in Arkansas?

Mini-skirts may not be the ideal garments in which to climb about, but if Fiona isn't bothered, why should you be?

If you have any girls in your office like Fiona, treat them nicely. They're valuable. They make the office look vital and vibrant, and it doesn't half impress the overseas clients.

Span No 177 - May 1969

Marilyn Ward and Pauline Gorvin

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Boutique Buy

There were these two girls, you see. One of them runs a boutique in

Bournemouth and the other one came in to buy something.

Blonde MARILYN WARD runs the boutique and the girl who came in to buy was PAULINE GORVIN. So, round the hangers they went and the conversation was something like this.

"Ah. Um. I wonder?"

"Yes, it's fab, isn't it? Try it on."

"Oh, but how about this one?"

"It goes awfully well with a coke."

"I like plum juice. Do you like plum juice?"

"I like it in a plum pie. Were you out with that boy from the travel agency last night?"

"Cheeky devil tried to sell me a ticket to Singapore. On a banana boat of all things. Oh, isn't that sweet? Is it my size?"

"Costume jewellery is all the rage with that style, you know."

"Yes, I know. I wish you didn't have such a marvellous stock; I'd like to buy so much of it, but I can't, I'm saving up to go to Spain”.

"I went there last year. Aren't those matadors slinky?"

"I can look after myself, it's those poor bulls I feel sorry for. Do you know, I really think I like this dress best."

"Honestly no, really it looks super."

"Well, I'll have it."

"But, Pauline, it's the one you were wearing when you came in.

Span No 177 - May 1969