Mrs Burley

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Kitchen Capers

(or - Don’t Shoot The Cook, She’s Too Beautiful)

When Mr. Burley, a keen amateur photographer, who hails from Brixton, London, sent us some photographs of his lovely wife, we were so impressed by the discrimination he showed in picking a girl like this to wed, that we sent our own photographer along to provide additional evidence.

We didn’t arrive at the best time. Well, it wasn’t the best time for blonde and beautiful Mrs. Burley, who was choring in the kitchen—no girl likes to be caught in her apron— but it didn’t take us long to realise that there’s no time like the present, and could the lady have looked any lovelier without her apron, anyway? A moot point, that, and one on which we will not linger.

Mrs. Burley, do you always dress in this cute outfit when you’re working in the kitchen—or is it that we just caught you on the wrong day?

Well, no-well, yes—well, I like to look glamorous in my kitchen, particularly on Wednesdays, which are half days, of course.

But today is Thursday—

Is it? Oh, well excuse me a moment while I lift Mrs. Beeton off the biscuit tin.

No, but really, Mrs. Burley — hold that a moment — you really are the cutest kitchen maid we’ve seen in years.

Well, thanks. For that you can stay and have some coffee, if you like.

Would you like to sit on your kitchen table, Mrs. Burley? With pleasure—but may I ask what for?

Because it's always been a crazy idea of ours that there are so many things which photograph better on a kitchen table than cups, saucers and toast-racks, and now we see you there we know it wasn’t such a crazy idea at that.

Well, we finally went away with the feeling that we’d shot off a lot of very attractive photographs, and it wasn’t until we’d gone about five miles in the trolley-bus that we realised we'd left Mrs. Burley to do the washing-up by herself. Never mind. She did it all with such a sweet smile.

Jenny Price

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What Lovely Lines

We’re so confused by JENNY PRICE, whose enchantment flows lyrically over us, that we can’t follow the lines of her car. Jenny, who has just about the nicest legs in Wales, can confuse the most clear-minded car fanatic.

Adrienne Houston

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Beautician

22-year-old ADRIENNE HOUSTON is a beautician and fills the first requisite of her job by being beautiful herself. If you feel your girlfriend isn’t making the most of her charm, send her along to Adrienne and she will emerge from the salon so ravishing that you’ll think she’s really much too good for you. Then where do you go from there?

Adrienne’s own charm lies not in her countenance alone, for she has beautiful legs and a trim figure that measures 35-22-35.

Julia Wendon

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Student of Medicine

Still studying hard at college is Yorkshire girl JULIA WENDON, and she's after a degree in medicine.

In between putting her nose to the academic grindstone of medicine, Julia engages in all the pursuits that keep a girl fit, like tennis, netball and squash — Squash?

Not your kind of squash, Harold. And then she also goes in for pursuits that keep a girl happy, like beauty competitions and dancing and glamour modelling.

Tell her that keeps me happy too.

Push off to Hastings, Harold, and get yourself one in the eye.

Jill Summers

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How Do They Look To You?

Irish model JILL SUMMERS has a lovely negligee and a beautiful perm, but currently she’s concentrating on the effect of her new black nylons. Jill thinks they make quite a contrast to her white frills—but how do they look to you? No postcards, please—just whistles.

Pamela Johnson

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Reflective Mood

Fashion model PAMELA JOHNSON, elegantly poised at 5' 6", is in a reflective mood as she eyes herself in the mirror, but her problem isn't the same as yours or ours. She’s bothered about whether to spend two months on the Riviera or three months on the Adriatic. The difference in the time period is governed by economics, it being cheaper on the Adriatic.

But all those marvellous Mediterranean dishes . . .?

Med dishes we like. You’re delicious too, Pam.

Linda White

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Who Could Ask For More?

Well, Oliver Twist for one.

And then there’s that incurably fat feller down at the gasworks who never says anything but “I’ll have the same again,” no matter what the question is. How’s your wife, how’re the kids, how’s your father, how’s your stomach, what’s your beer intake like these days? You get the same reply to all of them.

But surely if you’re looking for a girl who represents all that is brightest, swingiest and cutest about girls today, you couldn’t ask for a representative more delightful than LINDA WHITE. Glasgow hair stylist and beauty consultant, Linda keeps the young men fracturing their eyelids and the older men on the top storeys of their observatories, where they maintain a constant vigil at the small end of their telescopes, these being trained on Sauchiehall Street in the hope of catching Linda mounting a bus or hopping into a taxi.

You can’t ask for more when you’re over thirty and all you’ve got is a tall observatory and a long telescope.

Nina Barrett

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What a Find!

We didn't know how lucky we were the day we lost our train. We had to take a bus instead and who should drop a box of preserved fruits at our feet just as we were about to board the platform was a striking example of photogenic sex appeal from Newcastle.

As well as our train, we lost our bus. Still, we did get offered a preserved fruit. It took our appetite away a bit as we don't eat between meals.

Her name was NINA BARRETT. She moved to London three years ago to work as a secretary and is now doing modelling. She has fascinating green eyes, a fluent flow of scintillating conversation and a way of convincing one that there are other things in life besides money.

When we've got plenty, we'll go and get convinced all over again.

For your records, Nina is 5ft 2”, dynamically blonde and measure 36"-22"-35".

Georgia West

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Old Fashioned Look

Remember the days when the picture of a pretty girl alighting from a car caused twinkles to run up and down your vertebra?

Those were the days when stocking- tops would peep.

That's all over now. Pretty suspenders are seen no more. They're all wearing tights.

There should be a protest march. There may be nothing political about the issue, but we can think of other things. Like morale.

GEORGIA WEST takes us right back to those other days, but even so, as soon as she saw we were looking she went and put her tights on.

Spoilsport.

Elena Richter

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The New Typist

There was a frankly dishy girl in the office that Monday.

It was the new typist, ELENA RICHTER.

All the men were quite fascinated because Elena had long and lovely legs and a brief and eye-catching mini-dress.

The office was in West Berlin, Elena being a German girl working her way up towards the position of secretary. She's blonde, blue-eyed and dedicated. A girl must have a career until someone terribly handsome and just a little bit rich comes along.

If the new typist in your own office wears a midi and is even more dedicated, that's your hard luck, of course. And office girls like Elena would only take your mind off your work and you'd miss all that promotion.

Bunny Goodrich (Louise Crawford)

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Funny Bunny

We like a lovely bird with a sense of humour.

You can get a laugh a minute out of BUNNY GOODRICH, she's an absolute comic, and the things she says make old Gaffer Wallop spill his teeth into his beer. He doesn't mind what happens to his teeth, however, so long as his eyesight remains good.

Come the day when he can't get Bunny into focus when she's riding her bike and showing her lovely legs, then old Gaffer Wallop will be ready to wear glasses. He always said he wouldn't. But he will if it means missing Bunny on her bike or sunning it in her bikini. Bunny measures 37-24-37. No one should miss that.

Lisa Linnette

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It’s Great Out West

We don’t know how long ago it was when some knowledgeable American newspaper tycoon coined the phrase, ‘Go West, young man,’ It doesn’t really matter. It’s still the place to go to. As far west as Vancouver, for instance, the girls are gorgeous and apart from the one-track-minded prospectors who never think about anything but nuggets as big as their heads, what greater incentive is there to the young man than glamour?

For instance, meet LISA LINNETTE, Vancouver singer and dancer, lovely to look at and delightful to know.

Let’s face it. If the girls out west really are as gorgeous as Lisa, who wants to go anywhere else? To the young man already there we can only say we hope you know when you're well off.

Peggy Smith

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French Maid

When PEGGY SMITH of Middlesex was working in France to perfect her French grammar, she helped out as a maid to one family. She got herself a very oo-la-la maid's uniform and the head of the family was utterly delighted with the result.

Not so Madame. She said either the maid would have to go or she would. The master thought about it, then made his decision. Madame, outraged, went home to mother. Mother sent her back. She arrived when Peggy was serving French sauce and looking delicious. Madame compromised and Peggy changed her oo-la-la uniform for a boiler suit, which wasn't half so pretty.

Jo Shrimpton

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Take a Break

Housewife JO SHRIMPTON was fearfully busy.

There are always chores and they don't half keep a girl on the go. Jo, however, likes to take a mid-morning break. After all, what about that poor housewife who got so fatigued that she was sucked up by the vacuum cleaner?

Jo wasn't having that. So after a break for elevenses she took up a five-minute routine of physical re-orientation. A toning-up exercise. Knees bend and all that brisk stuff.

Looks lovely, she does, when she's at it.

She can cope with the insidious attentions of any vacuum cleaner after that.