Barbara Valentin

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Continental Chat

One way of spending a couple of chatty Hours with your girlfriend is to ring her up and let her pursue her natural talent for making a phone conversation last all day.

It’s even more like that on the Continent. The Continentals being naturally loquacious it’s asking for trouble to phone them when you’re in a hurry.

There was that nice feller Arnold, whose speciality was buying old electric kettles from gullible housewives and turning them into steam irons for the price of a new tweed suit. They never worked, of course, but he had such a way with him that no housewife ever complained. Anyway, he met an absolutely beautiful damsel called BARBARA VALENTIN when he was on the Continent.

When he got back to London he rang her up to ask her if he could see her in Cannes later that year. After listening to her answer, which was all in lovely lilting Latin and took two hours to deliver, Arnold managed to get a word in.

“What was that you said?” he asked numbly.

“Oui,” replied Barbara, and then in fascinating English she added, “And please, zat steam kettle you sell me, it do not work, no, never, it only spits hot water at me.”

“Oh?” said Arnold embarrassedly.

“Please,” said Barbara, “you send me back my money or I knock your big head off and queeck.”

Sarah Smith

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Our Miss Smith

There are any amount of Miss Smiths.

Some are sort of negative, some are quite divine.

Our Miss Smith is simply herself. Ravishing.

Full name? SARAH SMITH. She's a Glasgow girl with a lovely Scottish accent, she works as a secretary and models in her spare time. She wears mini-kilts in tartan recognition of her clan and the loveliest, briefest mini-dresses in delicious acknowledgement of her shapely legs.

She's whistled all the way to the office in the mornings and all the way home at night.

And what's fairer than that?

Louise Burton

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Some Birds Fly Away

There was Sir James in his deerstalking outfit and there at the gate was a beautiful bird. In his deerstalking gear Sir James naturally never went after birds, as it wasn't ethical except when he was wearing his grouse get-up.

However, any man would be a fool to commit himself to ethics as inelastic as that.

"Gad," he muttered, "a young dear is as good as an old doe any day, never mind if me suit is inappropriate."

He doffed his hat and bowed. The beautiful bird looked up, Sir James heard a swish of wings and there she was, flying away.

Some birds always fly away when aristocracy gets too close. You can't trust those pent-up deerstalkers. LOUISE BURTON is just such a bird, and Sir James didn't need his binoculars to see she was a beautiful one.

Louise lives in Brighton, spends the summers on the beach and her holidays in Spain. The matadors out there don't half give the bulls what for when Louise is around.

"Cor, what a life," panted Ferdinand, "I wish she'd go away."

Tamie Scott

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Secretary On The Go

Life isn't necessarily a matter of waiting around for things to happen. Fred was all right as long as he stayed in bed, but being all by himself it got inexorably dull.

So, he got up and went out in search of a happening. It was a windy day, the washing got blown off the line of No. 63 Planet Avenue and suddenly there was Fred with stockings and frillies and things wrapped around his neck. And there was also a blushing young housewife calling, "Stop, thief." Fred nearly got arrested.

Fortunately, a girl whizzing by in her sports car had seen the happening and was able to testify that Fred had been an innocent victim of the breezes. Fred thought it was absolutely lovely of her and was about to ask her up for cocoa in token of his gratitude when she said, "Well, so long, old sport," and off she whizzed.

TAMIE SCOTT is like that. She's a secretary always on the go. She's nineteen and at that age who ever feels tired? It's different with Fred. He's got flat feet. Tamie has got curves and long lovely legs.

Molly Shannon

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Give Molly a ring

Around the fascinating street markets of London wander the seekers after the old and the ancient.

Among those with a keen eye for the genuine is MOLLY SHANNON. Whenever Molly can spare time from her job as a shorthand-typist she pops into the market throngs. Actually, Molly stands out in a throng. So, do most blue-eyed blondes with vitalistics of 36-24-37.

At seventeen she's already an expert on antique rings. She collects them and has bought the most fascinating ones for a song. So if you're dying to ingratiate yourself with her, and you'd be a hopeless case of fragility if you weren't, you couldn’t do better than give her a ring.

It has to be a ring of antique splendour, of course. Don't try and foist a fake on her. She'll never wear it.

Kim Scott

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Flying Swinger

Air stewardess KIM SCOTT is what you call a flying swinger. She's up, up and away week after week from London Airport, and all her passengers consider her the most swinging stewardess they ever clapped their international eyes on.

Kim lives in Middlesex and in between her flights comes down to earth to enjoy the peace and quiet of life.

She says that's what a girl needs to do after flying all over the place, otherwise you can fall apart.

Kim with her long legs is still a devotee of the mini and if you can think of anything which would make her look lovelier when she's out shopping for antiques, keep it to yourself. It's bound to be something she couldn't wear without collecting a crowd.

Jenny Piper

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A Mini is a Mini

Young Hampshire housewife JENNY PIPER lives in a fascinatingly rural village, where a stream chuckles its way around the cottages.

But Jenny is quite with it as far as eye-catching gear is concerned. With her long legs, Jenny fits into a mini as if the fashion was made just for her. Bewitchingly, she believes a mini is a mini and you can't compromise.

This is Jenny in her mini that's a mini.

Hence the expression, "Ah, knickers."

"Well, yes, I know they show," said Jenny, "but you don't have to look if you don't want to."

She's joking, of course.

Jane Dixon

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Luck of the Irish

They play that hurling game in Ireland. Everything flies about.

"Did that one hurt, Paddy?" asks O'Reilly.

"Me ears is still ringing, yer dirty scoundrel."

"Hard luck, me boyo."

Well, hard luck is what you get in that kind of game. But there are compensations, all to do with how things look after the game.

They look lovely. Ireland is full of colleens.

Here's one of them. JANE DIXON. Many a Paddy will walk ten miles to call on her and still be full of blarney when he arrives. Men of other nations could only ask hoarsely for water.

Jane, of course, recognises blarney as soon as she hears it. Many a Paddy, calling with a bunch of flowers and an invitation to the horse show, has had his foot caught excruciatingly in the door as Jane closes it.

"Oh, me foot!"

"Does it hurt, Paddy?" calls Jane through the mail-box.

"Like the devil himself, me darling."

"Hard luck, me boyo."

Even in Ireland you can't win them all.

Annabel Lane

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Annabel

A member of a dancing troupe is ANNABEL LANE.

She's twenty, she's trim, she's vivacious. She comes from the West Country, and that's a six-barred West Country gate she's perched on.

Her favourite listening is pop music, and she also likes horses, crisp autumnal days and fellers who can make her laugh.

Angela Frank

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Studious Fraulein

West Germany is noted for its fair-haired frauleins, and any Briton who goes there just for the beer is exercising a very limited imagination.

True, dedicated beer drinkers don't profess to be highly imaginative in their solid art of bar quaffing, and in the opinion of many it only spoils the taste of the beer.

However, outside the beer halls of West Germany imaginative life does go on. Particularly around the universities. One West German student we're absolutely tickled to know is ANGELA FRANK. This is Angela.

Angela is eighteen, wears mini-skirts, midi-coats and lace-up boots, but for all her up-to-date gear she's no follower of any tearaway cult, she's a very serious student.

Like to take her out for a German beer sometime, would you?

So would we.

Kim Scott

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Home For A Day

It had been a busy year for KIM SCOTT.

Kim is an airline stewardess and it had been all go from January to December. She seemed to have hardly touched ground. It was lovely for the passengers as few stewardesses can serve coffee as engagingly as Kim, but for Kim it was definitely all go.

But we managed to catch her when she was home for a day.

In her flat in Middlesex, not far from London Airport,

Kim spent the day being all domestic.

It was all go again.

One day Kim is going to retire and put her feet up for a year. Anyone like to spend the time running around for her?

Helga Hansen

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Happy Helga

We know lots of vivacious girls. HELGA HANSEN is one of the most vivacious and certainly seems the happiest. It takes hardly anything to bring her out in lovely giggles.

We told her about the elephant that carried its own trunk off the transport plane and how the baggage men all went on strike, and Helga, over here from West Germany, thought it so funny that she simply rolled about.

She looked ever so lovely, what with her mini-dress and all.

She said how comical we were.

We told her to just keep rolling about.

Helga is perfecting her English. Personally, we wouldn't care if she only spoke Patagonian Gaelic. What's another language to a deaf ear when one's eyes are so stunned!

Tina Reynolds

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Tina

One of our new discoveries is TINA REYNOLDS

Tina has already made our readers sit up and count the stars, which is the only way to counteract a tendency to fall off your bicycle.

She's twenty, five feet three and measures 36-24-35. She plays squash, badminton and table tennis, which is far better than just sitting at home drinking cocoa like so many of you do.

Cocoa-drinking is fine for all those hombres who plant cocoa beans, but what's it does for your appreciation of the finer things of life?

Look at Tina. She's all over glowing meta­bolism.

So, take your boots off and put your shorts on, Claude.

Nicola Taylor

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Better and Better

Some models go off and get married, others get new jobs abroad and don't come back, and a few give everything up in favour of farming.

A very select minority keep at it and get better and better.

Like NICOLA TAYLOR, an always beautiful Hampshire model. Nicola gets better and better all the time. Don’t ask us how she does it so that you can pass the hints on to your wives or girlfriends, as it must be Nicola's own secret and probably wouldn't work with Nellie, anyway.

Now that summer's here you'll frequently find Nicola sunning herself on a beach at Bournemouth and getting a lovely golden tan nearly all over.

Marie Graham

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Housewife in Two Minds

One of our favourite ideas of what a charming housewife should look like is MARIE GRAHAM.

Lately Marie has been in two minds. About her legs. Which are rather eye-catching. Are they to be sheathed in tights or stockings? Gad, that is a problem. Shall stocking-tops once more prevail or not?

And Marie can't get any real help from asking well-known experts like the milkman. All he says is, "Well, come round to the dairy and me and me mates will have a look."

"Honest, you aren't half cheeky," says Marie.

"Ah, well, it makes me bottle tops go round," he says.