Sylvia Martin

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Flutterer

No, come on. Tearaway (said the panting jockey), get weaving or you’ll have me in dead trouble with Lady Sylvia. I tipped her you’d win by five lengths and here you are not even trying—swelp me if I don’t nobble you myself next time out. You couldn’t blame the gee-gee, really. The jockey just lost all sense of proportion when he gazed into the green eyes of SYLVIA MARTIN, 20-year-old bachelor-girl-about-town, who loves a flutter on the horses and believes anything a jockey tells her about the nags. Sylvia has lost the equivalent of a shirt more times than she cares to remember.

In case any of you think the height of bliss is only experienced by those riding a rocking-horse on the top of the Eiffel Tower, then there are those among you who haven’t seen Sylvia waving her horse home at Epsom. She dances, jigs, cavorts, yells, shrieks, and generally lets her enthusiasm take such hold of her that she becomes the most entrancing spectacle of the day.

Sorry we couldn’t show you her cheering her last flutter home, but we did catch her looking extremely entrancing in the domestic setting of a London flat.

Sylvia’s ambition, as distinct from her hobby, is the theatre—she wants desperately to break into the real, live genuine circuit—but she won’t put her shirt on it, she couldn’t bear to lose on that one.

Rosanne Stuart

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In A Scottish Garden

Frustrated geography, what you miss being on the wrong side of the border.

All that lovely Scottish heather and all those bonny birds are not the daily delight of those whose eyes are bounded by Portobello Road. As you dally on the kerbside looking for a bargain in old Victoriana, how you must wish you were in a Scottish garden with ROSANNE STUART.

If you don’t wish that, then old Victoriana has got a neurotic hold on you and you'll only cure yourself by butting sandbags. Wait until it leaves off and then give yourself another twenty-four hours to clear your head of ringing noises.

You’re cured. You begin to think of a Scottish garden adorned by sweet Rosanne.

Soon you can think of nothing else. You’re all neurotic again.

You return to that heap of sandbags.

Life for people with complexes is all butt.

Maria Lynley

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Happy Housewives

For all the X-minus fellers who don't have a housewife of their own, our sympathy is unqualified.

They're missing all that is loveliest in life.

We know the most attractive Leicester housewife. She's not only glamorous, she can't half cook too. Her name is MARIA LYNLEY and the man in her life is so appreciative of his good luck he sends her picture postcards when they're on holiday together.

Some men prefer to have model train sets. Mr. Lynley prefers to have Maria. What an acquisition.

Jo Fowler

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It Had To Happen

It always does. Happily humming to herself, JO FOWLER set about finding a place for a picture in her husband's new residence in France, where he now works. You can see what happened. It always does.

Leslie Langham

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The Problem of a Mini

I'm LESLIE LANGHAM.

I live in North London, it’s rather super there and some of the boys are awfully good at Whistling. I suppose they’re training to be football referees. I have a most interesting job. I’m a demonstrator of office equipment. That’s where I find a mini-skirt has its problems. Whenever I’m demonstrating a desk with self-locking keyholes, I seem to be all legs. I’m always saying, “Oh, pardon me,’’ and adjusting my skirt, but everyone is awfully sweet and office managers never seem to mind a bit.

I have to be with it, of course. I can’t not wear a mini, it would be an unbearable drag to dress in trousers, but sometimes I’m not sure if office managers are paying proper attention to my demonstration of an electric typewriter.

It’s very flattering, I must say.

Mrs Burley

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Kitchen Capers

(or - Don’t Shoot The Cook, She’s Too Beautiful)

When Mr. Burley, a keen amateur photographer, who hails from Brixton, London, sent us some photographs of his lovely wife, we were so impressed by the discrimination he showed in picking a girl like this to wed, that we sent our own photographer along to provide additional evidence.

We didn’t arrive at the best time. Well, it wasn’t the best time for blonde and beautiful Mrs. Burley, who was choring in the kitchen—no girl likes to be caught in her apron— but it didn’t take us long to realise that there’s no time like the present, and could the lady have looked any lovelier without her apron, anyway? A moot point, that, and one on which we will not linger.

Mrs. Burley, do you always dress in this cute outfit when you’re working in the kitchen—or is it that we just caught you on the wrong day?

Well, no-well, yes—well, I like to look glamorous in my kitchen, particularly on Wednesdays, which are half days, of course.

But today is Thursday—

Is it? Oh, well excuse me a moment while I lift Mrs. Beeton off the biscuit tin.

No, but really, Mrs. Burley — hold that a moment — you really are the cutest kitchen maid we’ve seen in years.

Well, thanks. For that you can stay and have some coffee, if you like.

Would you like to sit on your kitchen table, Mrs. Burley? With pleasure—but may I ask what for?

Because it's always been a crazy idea of ours that there are so many things which photograph better on a kitchen table than cups, saucers and toast-racks, and now we see you there we know it wasn’t such a crazy idea at that.

Well, we finally went away with the feeling that we’d shot off a lot of very attractive photographs, and it wasn’t until we’d gone about five miles in the trolley-bus that we realised we'd left Mrs. Burley to do the washing-up by herself. Never mind. She did it all with such a sweet smile.

Jenny Price

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What Lovely Lines

We’re so confused by JENNY PRICE, whose enchantment flows lyrically over us, that we can’t follow the lines of her car. Jenny, who has just about the nicest legs in Wales, can confuse the most clear-minded car fanatic.

Adrienne Houston

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Beautician

22-year-old ADRIENNE HOUSTON is a beautician and fills the first requisite of her job by being beautiful herself. If you feel your girlfriend isn’t making the most of her charm, send her along to Adrienne and she will emerge from the salon so ravishing that you’ll think she’s really much too good for you. Then where do you go from there?

Adrienne’s own charm lies not in her countenance alone, for she has beautiful legs and a trim figure that measures 35-22-35.

Julia Wendon

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Student of Medicine

Still studying hard at college is Yorkshire girl JULIA WENDON, and she's after a degree in medicine.

In between putting her nose to the academic grindstone of medicine, Julia engages in all the pursuits that keep a girl fit, like tennis, netball and squash — Squash?

Not your kind of squash, Harold. And then she also goes in for pursuits that keep a girl happy, like beauty competitions and dancing and glamour modelling.

Tell her that keeps me happy too.

Push off to Hastings, Harold, and get yourself one in the eye.

Jill Summers

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How Do They Look To You?

Irish model JILL SUMMERS has a lovely negligee and a beautiful perm, but currently she’s concentrating on the effect of her new black nylons. Jill thinks they make quite a contrast to her white frills—but how do they look to you? No postcards, please—just whistles.

Pamela Johnson

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Reflective Mood

Fashion model PAMELA JOHNSON, elegantly poised at 5' 6", is in a reflective mood as she eyes herself in the mirror, but her problem isn't the same as yours or ours. She’s bothered about whether to spend two months on the Riviera or three months on the Adriatic. The difference in the time period is governed by economics, it being cheaper on the Adriatic.

But all those marvellous Mediterranean dishes . . .?

Med dishes we like. You’re delicious too, Pam.

Linda White

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Who Could Ask For More?

Well, Oliver Twist for one.

And then there’s that incurably fat feller down at the gasworks who never says anything but “I’ll have the same again,” no matter what the question is. How’s your wife, how’re the kids, how’s your father, how’s your stomach, what’s your beer intake like these days? You get the same reply to all of them.

But surely if you’re looking for a girl who represents all that is brightest, swingiest and cutest about girls today, you couldn’t ask for a representative more delightful than LINDA WHITE. Glasgow hair stylist and beauty consultant, Linda keeps the young men fracturing their eyelids and the older men on the top storeys of their observatories, where they maintain a constant vigil at the small end of their telescopes, these being trained on Sauchiehall Street in the hope of catching Linda mounting a bus or hopping into a taxi.

You can’t ask for more when you’re over thirty and all you’ve got is a tall observatory and a long telescope.

Nina Barrett

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What a Find!

We didn't know how lucky we were the day we lost our train. We had to take a bus instead and who should drop a box of preserved fruits at our feet just as we were about to board the platform was a striking example of photogenic sex appeal from Newcastle.

As well as our train, we lost our bus. Still, we did get offered a preserved fruit. It took our appetite away a bit as we don't eat between meals.

Her name was NINA BARRETT. She moved to London three years ago to work as a secretary and is now doing modelling. She has fascinating green eyes, a fluent flow of scintillating conversation and a way of convincing one that there are other things in life besides money.

When we've got plenty, we'll go and get convinced all over again.

For your records, Nina is 5ft 2”, dynamically blonde and measure 36"-22"-35".

Georgia West

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Old Fashioned Look

Remember the days when the picture of a pretty girl alighting from a car caused twinkles to run up and down your vertebra?

Those were the days when stocking- tops would peep.

That's all over now. Pretty suspenders are seen no more. They're all wearing tights.

There should be a protest march. There may be nothing political about the issue, but we can think of other things. Like morale.

GEORGIA WEST takes us right back to those other days, but even so, as soon as she saw we were looking she went and put her tights on.

Spoilsport.