Sandra Morrell

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The Psychiatrist

Harry thought anybody who couldn't sort out his own problems but had to take them to a psychiatrist needed to have his head examined. His friend Oliver said that was the same thing, to which Harry replied it was all a lot of half-baked propaganda put about by blokes who had to make a living at it.

And then he met SANDRA MORRELL at a garden party, where there were lots of homemade cakes on view and a lot of home-made wine-tasting going on. Harry had tested them all by the time he bumped into Sandra, who was there in her official capacity as the garden party beauty queen or something equally exotic and ravishing.

Harry almost fell down. What a doll, he thought. He took her hand and pressed unsolicited kisses on it. Then he looked into her eyes and murmured, "Come and try my cherry tart, I made it myself." "Pardon me," said Sandra," but I never eat cherry tart with men who've had too much elderberry wine."

Harry was distraught. He went to see a psychiatrist next day to try and find out why elderberry wine made him so unattractive to women.

And after six visits, all at ten guineas a time, the psychiatrist told him it was because too much elderberry wine made him lurch sideways.

Bridget Kildare

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Dream of Home

He was on his way to Ireland and he wasn’t looking forward to it. He knew the rumours about all those punch-ups weren't rumours at all, and that if they found out his name was Smith and he came from Birmingham they’d knock his flaming head off.

On the way, there he passed someone going the other way. She was simply delicious and he only had time to wave as their boats passed. When she waved back he was enraptured. "Stop the boat,” he said to the captain, "I want to get off." "Silly boy," murmured the captain, patting his head and going on his way.

However, when he got to Ireland he had something to take his mind off the fireworks. It was his dream of home, all in the shape of BRIDGET KILDARE Bridget is a model who is constantly travelling to and fro in her professional engagements, and more than a few men who have seen her passing by consider her a dream of home.

Joanann Marshall

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Mini Trend

It’s not only the teenage girls who love the mini fashions, you know. Grown-up girls like housewife JOANANN MARSHALL love them too, and what’s more, look absolutely gorgeous in them.

Naturally, you need to have peekaboo legs.

You also need a kind of off-beat detachment to enable you to ignore the wolf whistles.

Joanann is a Lancashire girl and as is well-known, the Lancashire males whistle louder than any. But at least they don’t go in for all that pinching and nipping. You have to go all the way to Rome for that.

Imagine having to go all the way to Rome to get pinched. Well, some like it.

Don’t try pinching Joanann. You'll get socked. She bruises easily She's very fond of art by the way. She doesn’t spend all her time going out and shopping for vegetables. You can still make the most of life.

Some men are lucky. One of them was very lucky. He married her and helps her with her mini shopping. He not only knows what Joanann likes, he knows what he likes too.

Cheryl Peters

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Playground

We’re all kids at heart.

Anyway, who wants to be old? Even if you’re ninety there’s no fun in acting like ninety.

Deliciously youthful is CHERYL PETERS, and when she found herself in the kiddies’ playground and no kiddies in sight, she couldn’t resist the temptation to act like a six-year-old. Mini-skirted, long-legged Cheryl is just the girl to make the ninety-year-old ex-soldiers throw away their crutches.

Old Percy Hammerstroke did just that.

And what happened?

Poor old Percy fell flat on his face.

Cheryl picked him up and laughingly said, "There’s no need to be ridiculous."

"No fool like an old fool," muttered Percy.

Sally Randall

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Clearing up after Corky

Computer operator SALLY RANDALL has got lovely long hair and eye-catching statistics of 37-23-35.

She’s good at judo, expert at crossword puzzles and she scintillates on the dance floor. And when there’s a long-haired dog called Corky around she also has to be good at sweeping up the hairs he sheds over the carpet.

She’s more than good at this as you can see, she’s gorgeous.

Moira Orfei

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Cara Moira

That, as all of you who’ve been to Italy know, means Moira, me lovely, you’re dear to me tender eyes, so you are. If you’ve been to Italy enough or stayed over when you should have returned home, you may indeed have clapped your dazzled optics on lustrous MOIRA ORFEI, one of the bewitching beauties currently captivating the Italian film scene. Moira is so good on the eyes it hurts. Which is another way of saying, “Stop me, Bertie, what fragrant delectability—it made me mince pies feel like hot velvet.”

Angeline Dunmore

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Congratulations

Could be we’re offering ANGELINE DUNMORE congratulations on looking so lovely, but in actual fact we’re proffering felicitations because we’ve just heard that since the last time we saw her Angeline's become the proud parent of a brand-new daughter. And if baby looks anything like her mama then she's all set to sweep the board at the local baby shows.

We asked Angelina's husband how he felt about having: two beautiful girls in the family instead of one, and he said his main feeling was that already he was outnumbered.

We asked Angeline how she felt, and she said, apropos her hubby’s comment, that it wasn’t before time.

And hubby said he’d go along with that as it was obviously wiser to!

Penny-Club West Berlin

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Some Men Have All The Luck

It happened in the Penny-Club in West Berlin. The Penny-Club is where the night life is full of froth and fun.

The guy who had all the luck was the feller who compered the leg competition, inviting girls from the audience to participate and try for a breath-taking prize.

In case you’re not quite with us, he’s the one with the measuring tape.

“I think this is a gag and I’m not sure what I’m going to tell my boyfriend. No, he’s not the one with the wide shoulders, he’s the one who’s home in bed with shingles. His nerves are all to pieces and so are mine. Ooh, you’re tickling. "

“Oh, look, I don't really want a prize, I only went in for it because Gerda talked so fast to me. It’s the last time I’m going to let her talk to me at all. She’s all right, she’s sitting over there laughing her head off. Oh, but I haven’t really won, have I! Well, I never. Now then sailors shout show a leg I shan’t have such a complex.”

Soulange Ferrier

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French Style

Very much the delicious Parisian is SOULANGE FERRIER.

Soulange spends her summers working as a chambermaid in a hotel at St. Tropez.

That's French style if you like. Nothing a motherly middle-aged chambermaid who wheezes a bit. Not on your French nelly, dearest. No, it has to be a girl who could also double for a sexy French film actress in one of those permissive Gallic epics which make you roll about in the aisles.

What a lovely Soulange.

How exquisite to have the bedclothes turned down by her at night. Ah well, it's nice to think about.

Margaret Wade

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Country Girl

There is an eternal attraction about the countryside which has such an appeal for town dwellers that many of them want to give up counting traffic lights and buy a country cottage.

Many of them do just that and when they're in the cottage they're ready to let the country atmosphere caress them into a kind of soporific bliss.

Two weeks later they're writing letters to their town friends asking them to send an electric mixer or a set of drums. The quiet, they say, is killing them.

You have to be a lover of peace and quiet to settle down in a country cottage. MARGARET WADE wouldn't live anywhere else. Of course, she has a job that keeps her in close daily contact with hustle and bustle and comings and goings, and that removes any desire on her part to own a set of drums.

Margaret is a hotel receptionist.

She also owns a horse. It's much less technologically complicated than a car. She and a horse spend lovely week-ends riding around in all the peace and quiet.

So, if you buy a country cottage ask for a horse as well.

Lisa Casala

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Watch What Birdie ?

There was lush dolly LISA CASALA on one side of the camera and Willy Boodle on the other. And Lisa was telling him to watch the birdie.

Willy did. What a peach, he thought. Big brown eyes and all. He went quite faint and when his passport photograph was developed it looked like a dose-up of a fragile hop-picker who'd been at the malt.

Lisa lives in Dorset. She likes the occasional camerawork.

On either side of the lens she's a beaut.

Willy didn't think his passport photograph would pass. So, he made six more appointments.

"One should be enough if only you don't go all quivery," said Lisa.

"I hope you don't think I've got malaria," said Willy, "I just suffer from susceptibility."

"Fascinating," said Lisa as she ushered him out.

Faith Pattinson

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Dedicated Faith

There are large numbers of elephants roaming around places like India, which sometimes makes it a dicey business crossing a road. Elephants don’t observe road rules any more than motorists do in some places. You get an instinct for avoiding action in respect of vehicular traffic, however, which enables you to survive the unpredictability of drivers. But it's different when you’re up against elephants.

Elephants seem dedicated to the pleasure of steaming ahead, irrespective of who's in the way. Once they've got their trunks down and their legs working on all systems go, their dedication to a straight line is heart-stopping. Talking about heart-stopping, we know a girl who makes ours go boompety-boomp, and she's dedicated too. Her straight line of dedication is that which leads to where she wants to go as a straight actress—the top. Her name is FAITH PATTINSON, she’s had stage parts and film parts, she lives in London and we have a feeling about her that we’ve never had about elephants. We have a feeling that elephants are just a load of crash-bang-wallop and that Faith is quite different.

Dawn De Vere

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Last Day of Winter

It’s all right now, isn’t it, with you pushing your hot toes through the warm sand and Essie soaking up the sun in her incalculably radiant bikini.

You’re all hot.

So to bring a touch of coolness cast your mind back to the last day of winter when it was perishing cold and nobody thought anything of spring being just around the corner. We thought it might strike at the roots of your sun-charged complacency if we showed you what the last day of winter was like to DAWN DE VERE, Essex secretary.

Dawn simply loves the outdoors, except when the last day of winter turns out to be as chilly as this one. Only an inborn outdoor type could put up with it all.

But don’t be put off. If Dawn can smile in a temperature of zero, so can you. All you need do is to wear a fur coat and stoke up your metabolism.

Helen Milligan

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Running Repairs

When there’s a quick repair needed before the damage in the nylon starts to run, who looks more delightfully decorative with a needle than HELEN MILLIGAN ?

Ivy Winstanley

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When the Dancing Stopped

It happened—more or less—the day IVY WINSTANLEY gave up her career as a talented ballet dancer to marry a man she met when she was at Brighton. Perhaps it’s a bit old-fashioned but it’s nice to know some career girls prefer domesticity to fleeting fame.

Ivy does some part-time modelling to help out with the family budget but on the whole lives the life of a happy Brighton housewife, and that’s one in the eye for the cynics and the playwrights who say there’s no such thing.