Greta Berry

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Bright Light On A Dark Night

It was lovely and warm in the country that night, and if only there had been a moon instead of an inky sky, GRETA BERRY would have been lit up in the most romantic way.

"However," said Perce, the camera man from the big city, "as there isn't a moon I'll use my flash.”

"Oh, don't mind me," said Greta, who couldn't get the zip of her coat done up, "just go ahead, naturally."

"Willingly," said Perce, and there was a click and a flash, and then Greta was a bright light on a dark night.

By day she's an office girl, and if we're concentrating lately on bringing you different features on her it's only to keep you happy.

Beautiful Britons No 188 - July 1971

Jennifer Taylor

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The Way You Are

Now this is as it should be. This is a girl being herself, gorgeously feminine. This is a girl dissociating herself from all that other jazz.

It's our latest pin-up favourite, JENNIFER TAYLOR, who is absolutely certain that to be heavyweight boxing champion of the world is only for gorillas and suchlike. Jennifer is our idea of curvy perfection, and the girl we'd love to climb trees with. It's the easiest thing in the world to get all caught up in a tree and not be able to get down again until the fire brigade arrives. How absolutely thrilling.

Jennifer has begun to enter beauty competitions and you could be looking at a future Miss United Kingdom. On the other hand, if we had our way, we'd carry her off to a desert island and teach her how to make Christmas pudding out of coconuts.

You're crackers," said Jennifer.

Sue Simpson

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The Problems of Reincarnation

Ever since we set eyes on these pictures of lovely Sue Simpson, we've been worried by a terrible problem. It's kept us awake at night, sleepless and tossing and turning, gnawing our knuckles, sitting up in bed reading back issues of RELAX in desperate attempts at sending ourselves to sleep. But it's no good. However long and hard we try; we never arrive at a decision.

At the bus queue in the morning, we mumble quietly to ourselves. People edge shiftily away from us. Well, at least that gets us a seat, even in the rush hour. But the problem remains.

You see, it's like this. The other day we read a book, about reincarnation. Apparently, we don't just have one life on earth, when we die, we're born again as someone else. And it happens over and over again. But there's a snag. (There always is, isn't there?) You see, when you're born again, you may not be born again as a person (so this book says). You might be a frog, a flea, or a woolly necked tapir. Or even a flower. Somehow we don't fancy the idea of being born again as a pansy.

But now perhaps you see the problem. Bearing in mind we might be born again, we've been wondering, wondering, wondering what we'd rather be. Would it be best to be that tree that Sue Simpson is embracing so warmly? Or maybe the grass, where she rests her delightful derriere? Or even-dare we suggest it-those black net stockings that hug her so tightly?

Relax No 17 - Gadoline Publications 1969

Samantha Lee

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Samantha

One day Johnny's dad took him to see a pantomime and it was full of hilarious larks like the villain being shot up out of a trapdoor and the dame doing cartwheels.

That's not even kids' stuff these days. These days all the Johnnies want to go to discotheques to see dollies, and the last person they want with them is dad.

It's hardly surprising-except to elephants. Elephants are just plain old-fashioned. The rest of us can easily understand that when London Town is so full of dollies like SAMANTHA LEE that you can't turn round without blissfully bumping into one, who wants to go and see villains being shot out of trapdoors?

Samantha is nineteen, a dancer and an eyeful. She likes omelettes, so if you ever have the ecstasy of taking her out for high tea, you'll know what to order.

Spick No 204 - November 1970

Kay de Lisle

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Something To Smile About

Life is just right at the moment for housewife KAY DE LISLE. There was a slight setback a little while ago when six men came to build a swimming pool in her back garden because she and hubby had only ordered a small indoor aquarium for a pair of goldfish, and the swimming pool have put the house itself in the deep end.

Kay soon sorted that one out. Six men with digging gear and two concrete mixers were no match for one housewife and a pair of goldfish.

Currently Kay's joy is a new boat which she and hubby skim around in at weekends. She lives on the South Coast and boats are lovely for messing about in. She wore a lovely white and blue mini dress on their first excursion, with a sailor hat. Off Poole she fell in. She was on the starboard side and never could tell left from her right. Since then, she wears a bikini and a life jacket.

This is Kay in her mini. Fancy falling overboard in that. How lovely.

Span No 218 - October 1972

Elaine Burrows

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New Face In Old Place

Seen for a day in the old market town of Banbury was ELAINE BURROWS. She was there to buy a horse. She's always wanted one of her own. When she was five, she had a half share in a red-and-white rocking-horse. Her brother owned the other half. He always made her sit on the back end, so Elaine was more often off than on.

Anyway, having grown up--and you can see just how well she's accomplished this at eighteen-Elaine is off rocking-horses for good. It was a real live one she was looking for in Banbury. She was a new face to the old horse-traders. They'd have liked her to stay for a week but having acquired her horse Elaine rode out of town and went to meet Dick Turpin.

He's nobody notorious, just a boy with a guitar.

Beautiful Britons No 205 - December 1972

Nicola Taylor and Marie Graham

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Past and Present

In the past the not-long-ago past-undies were frilly and worn with stockings and suspenders.

For the present it's brevity and tights. NICOLA TAYLOR and MARIE GRAHAM, Hampshire, find the present look extremely comfortable, but how it compares with the past look, illustrated overleaf and elsewhere, is a matter of individual opinion.

"More like ruddy sacrilege,"' said Fred.

What?

"Them tights," said Fred, horrible."

Oh, you're old-fashioned.

"'You want to watch it.' said Fred, "or you'll get ate up by lions, and I hope all them tights get ate up too."

Don't take too much notice of Fred.

Beautiful Britons No 227 - October 1974

Karin Gerder

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Staying Awhile

From Stockholm came KARIN GERDER on a trip to London, and as she was so obviously one of those Swedish goddesses who can put you off the humdrum for life, even the cab drivers raised their caps to her.

London cab drivers are helpful guys, they also know a Swedish goddess when they see one, and if it hadn't been for the fact that they nearly all have a wife and kids to keep they would have willingly driven her around the metropolis for free,

Karin moved into an apartment in Hampstead and decided to stay awhile. Already she's found all the work she wants as a model and is spending what spare time she can in painting London scenes.

She's not just a haughty goddess, she's got talents, you know.

How exhilarating.

Beautiful Britons No 207 - February 1973

Frolics - Car Washing

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Frolics - Car Washing

Frolics - Car Washing with Linda Deane - 1969

Gadoline Publications - Just a few samples from this 54 page book. Frolics

Nicola Taylor and Marie Graham

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Sunshine Snaps

It was one of those lovely days which called for a camera to record what sunshine can do for the subject.

And our glamour girls NICOLA TAYLOR and MARIE GRAHAM took turns to put each other on record and to say 'cheese'. Marie said 'pickles' once and Nicola said it didn't look as good as cheese.

"I know," said Marie, "but when I think of cheese I always think of pickles too."

Spick and Span Extra No 55 - Summer 1975

Jennifer Taylor

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Please, Teacher

When you're a student you rely an awful lot on your teacher, and when JENNIFER TAYLOR was in the sixth all the boys in her class couldn't help noticing that all the male teachers were ever so dedicated to their vocation.

They all paid so much attention to Jennifer's reliance on their professional assistance.

She only had to say, "Please teacher," and one of them was there jogging her elbow and helping her phenomenally with her French verbs.

The other students said it was sheer favouritism.

“I heard you say that, Smith,” called the science master, "but what would you do in my place ?"

"I'd jog her elbow too," said Smith.

"Cheeky," said Jennifer.

This is how Jennifer looked when she was a student doing her homework. It was all like giddy St. Trinian's style then. Oh, happy days.

Span No 198 - February 1971

Marie Graham and Nicola Taylor

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More Sun, More Fun

Out they went into the sun again, those two Hampshire housewives, MARIE GRAHAM and NICOLA TAYLOR. Well, they're all for giggles, and where there's sun there's fun.

They found a three-wheeled scooter, and that was just the job for a one-legged scoot round the farm if only they hadn't both tried to use it at the same time.

"What are you following us for?" asked Marie.

"Just for the fun of it, " said the photographer.

"Well, do excuse my stocking-tops, won't you?" said Marie.

"It's too warm for maxis, you see," said Marie.

"It's quite all right with me, "said the photographer.

Oh, good show," said Nicola.

She didn't know what she was saying.

Beautiful Britons No 192 - November 1971

Ingrid Norsman

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Calling All Collies

If you're a nice big cuddly collie doggie, looking for a nice cosy cuddly home, why not get in touch with cosy cuddly INGRID NORSMAN?

If you're lost around the Cotswolds, Ingrid might be pleased to hear from you. Ingrid is an absolutely bewitching dog-lover. Honestly, some of you galumping great St. Bernards get better treatment from Ingrid than a mislaid pop star in need of his mother.

“What would you rather have for Easter, Ingrid? A famous pop star or a woolly collie?”

“Don't make me laugh, what would do with a pop star? You can take a woolly collie for a lovely ramble. You can't take a pop star anywhere except where the windows are all shut to keep the noise in.”

This is Ingrid.

Cuddly collies, please note.

Span No 212 - April 1972

Joanne Stewart

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Oranges & Lemons

What makes a lovely girl more lovely?

What makes her more curvy as well?

Oranges and lemons, says JOANNE STEWART.

Joanne is a housewife who is also a dolly-bird of exceptional impact, this being due as much to her figure of 37-23-37 as her honey-gold hair.

What you do, she says, is this. You take one orange, peel it, dissect it, and eat it with a thin slice of dry toast. That's for breakfast, and you can have a weak cup of China tea as well, but no milk.

For lunch you have another orange, only with nuts. If you want to go mad you can finish off with a small glass of a tomato juice.

For dinner you can have two oranges, and if you must have something hot to go with them try half a haddock. For afters you can have two dates but no custard.

But the lemons, Joanne, you haven't mentioned them. Don't you have a lemon or two in between?

A lemon, says Joanne, is someone who believes all this. Honestly, some housewives with this sense of humour can't half make you feel a fool.